Once upon a time I was about to be fired because the staff felt I was cold and uncaring. I felt so misunderstood. That I was cold and uncaring was so untrue that I felt betrayed by my co- workers.
The real story is that I went to work every day exhausted, depressed and overwhelmed. The continual parade of sick and dying animals, demanding owners, staff friction and the euthanasias was beating me down.
I was abusing food to punish myself for not being perfect. I was waking up at all hours of the night gripped in fear about recent cases and migraines were a common occurrence. I was resigned to be miserable the rest of my life, but dammit, I still went to work and saved lives.
I cared so much about my clients’ and patients’ lives that I was losing mine.
I cared so much that I had nothing more to give, I had given it all away.
As caregivers and healers we all have the tendency to continue giving even when we are empty.
Have you ever felt that you have nothing more to give and that there is no enjoyment in your career? Do you abuse food, alcohol, exercise to try and soothe the parts of you that are hurting?
Well, I decided that this work situation was the wake-up call. I could either ignore it and continue my self destructive ways at another job or I could use it as a challenge to try and become someone my co workers could trust and find a way to save myself at the same time.
I have realized that the problem was not just my job, it was the way I had been taught. I was trained as a scientist to use only my medical knowledge.
This whole other part of veterinary medicine-the need to deal with the emotional environment of a veterinary clinic- is untaught territory for us.
If you have ever felt like you are ill equipped to handle the emotional challenges you face every day you are not alone.
I took a look at the veterinary oath. Our current oath only mentions our medical, scientific knowledge as tools. It does not even mention that whole other part of being human-humanity-compassion, self-care, boundaries, empathy. What would change if we had an oath that required us to take care of ourselves as well as we do our animals?
We all find ways to deal with the stresses we encounter every day. I know that you probably have coping skills that usually work for you. But maybe you have still felt depleted and hopeless.
To combat those feelings of hopelessness and defeat, I started to learn how to listen to my higher self, the part of me that is my soul, my spirit, my emotions.
The really amazing thing to me, is that as I started to focus more on listening to my higher self I found that the challenges at work were dramatically lessened. I didn’t have to find ways to deal with my poor emotional state because I didn’t get into it in the first place.
That lead me to create a SELF-Care Veterinary Oath just for you. It is the Oath I wish I had taken at graduation and the one that I wish our curriculum and CE was centered around just as much as advances in medicine.
My purpose in writing the SELF-Care Oath is to give you something tangible that you can refer to when the challenges of our profession are draining you. Each statement in the oath can be used as an affirmation to lay the groundwork for achieving the life you have always dreamed could be yours. Print it and hang it in a prominent spot so that you will see it often.
The perspectives and tools that work for me can work for you as well. I will be having a continuing dialogue through my newsletter about the steps I took to recreate a life I love. So often we put everyone and everything else before ourselves and this has to change.
Has there ever been a time in your live where this was true? Have you given so much of yourself that you do not know who you are anymore and have no enjoyment in your career?
Let’s put humanity back in the veterinary clinic where it most definitely belongs. This Oath is the doorway to a whole new outlook on the profession and life.
