We all want to feel like we know what we are doing. Whether it is our diagnostic abilities, our venipuncture skills or our ability to communicate with clients … we all want to feel confident. But does that come from the outside (environment and feedback) or the inside (our own innate knowledge)?
These thoughts are coming up for me as I start a new job after 13 yrs at the previous hospital. Yikes! I have noticed thoughts like ‘I don’t really know what I am doing! They all know more than me! No one will like me! My people skills are poor!’,etc. On-and-on I hear those voices in my head. Why? Because I am doing something new and my ego doesn’t like it! It liked the old job where I felt comfortable and knew the staff, the clients, and how things worked.
Now? Now I don’t even know where the bathroom is without asking! This uncertainty sets off all my ego warning bells loudly. ‘Just go back to where you were comfy.’ The ego’s job is to keep me safe–safe from being eaten by a bear, as well as it’s 21st century job, of threats of any changes.
Did you know that the ego will jump in, even when you have a new thought about yourself? So many of us stay in situations that are not right for us and we don’t change, because at least it’s “the devil we know”. As soon as we even have a brief thought about changing our life somehow the ego goes into overdrive showing us all the things that could happen if we did that. ‘DANGER Will Robinson, Danger!!!! Don’t think that way. We don’t know how to do that safely. We don’t know who we will be if we think that way. We won’t know who we are if we go over there and do that. We’ll lose friends.’ So, all too often, sadly, we don’t change. We don’t change because it seems so difficult.
But the really cool thing is, the more you can give your ego a voice and realize it is just scaring you with the unknowable future misery that might befall you at some point if you “did” this thing, then it can actually become quieter. Tell your ego you hear it and appreciate it, but you ARE going to do this thing because it is something you want to try. Yes, you might fail, but you fail for sure if you don’t even try. (Affirmations, tapping and mirror work are some tools to quiet the self protective ego.)
So these last few weeks I have had many opportunities to practice what I preach. I left a really great job because the hour commute had finally become exhausting. I have found the next opportunity and I know it will be a great thing as well BUT my ego has been throwing her full force at me. She has said everything from ‘You are an imposter!’ to ‘You won’t fit in there.’ and saving the best for last, ‘No one will like you.’ It is amazing how quickly she can fill in any quiet time in my mind with scary thoughts aimed at keeping me safe and at my old job.
Where do you hear your ego talking to you? Is it at the job – trying to convince you of imposter syndrome or that everyone hates you? Is it in your wanting to feel better? Does it tell you things like ‘You are the shy one. You will never be popular. No one will ever love you.’?
When we can recognize these types of thoughts as those of the self protective ego’s work, then we have insight into how to quiet them. We cannot allow ourselves to believe the ego’s messages unless it is warning us about hot stoves, or dangerous social situations etc. But when it is talking about future events that might happen, or if it is talking about how you view yourself, most likely it is incorrect.
You are powerful beyond words and you are incredibly able and intelligent. And anyone, or anything that tells you otherwise, is lying.
So, learn to hear those thoughts from your ego, but tell yourself the real truth and latch onto that truth. These are skills that will take you from miserable and frustrated to happy and successful.
Because I feel so strongly about these issues, I am still offering a FREE one-on-one consultation call to get to know each other and outline the strengths that you already have on your side and your goals. Then, if it feels good to us, you can sign up for a package of (8) weekly 60-minute calls that will guide you on creating the life that you want.
You will learn to see the events in your life as stepping stones, not barriers. You will see yourself as the strong, powerful, successful person that you are.
I believe in you. I believe in your strength and your wisdom!
