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Everyone Can use the New SELF-Care Oath – Support Staff Included!

Last week I invited you to download and print my New Veterinary SELF-Care Oath. Click here if you did not get to it yet – it is still available to you!

Everyone in the profession including receptionists, technicians, assistants and management can benefit from this oath. It speaks to our SELF-Care-keeping that part of us that is spiritual, soul, and higher self aligned and healthy. No matter where you spend the majority of your time in the veterinary office, this oath is for you.

I created it because I was failing at veterinary medicine. I was overwhelmed and depressed and could not find joy in my job any longer. As a profession, we are very hard on ourselves. We work very long hours, we are perfectionists, and we see every pet as our own. Management has the daunting task of keeping everyone happy, being the “buck stops here” place and guiding the business into a healthy future. They may not directly heal a pet, but they sure are critical to that successful outcome.

So how can you use this oath?

First, print it out and use the statements as affirmations. Explore for yourself what areas you are weak in. Do you feel responsible for the outcome of a case? Are you able to allow the client’s to grieve in their way and not take on their turmoil? Are you able to know that you did the best you could every day, even when others are yelling at you or the outcome isn’t what you had hoped?

These are some of the areas that Heal ThySELF DVM addresses.

We cannot control what happens to us, we can only control how we deal with it.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, in a veterinary hospital can benefit from this Oath.

In the coming weeks, the program that fleshes out the action steps to take to achieve the ideals written in the oath will be rolled out!

Here is a sample of what we will be delving into in the coming weeks:

– What is a boundary and how do you create healthy ones?
– How can you empathize with clients or co-workers without being pulled into their turmoil?
– How does the “not my circus, not my monkeys” idea apply within a clinic setting?

I am SO excited for you to experience a new way of being at your job. I want you to feel as excited and optimistic as when you were just starting out. I know that applying the techniques of SELF-Care will allow you to fly and create the life that you have always wanted.

So, if you haven’t received your copy of the oath you can download it here.

And let me know what you think of the Oath. Is it helpful to you? How are you using it. Let me know at pamela@healthyselfdvm.com

Subscribe here to receive the weekly Heal ThySELF DVM Chart Notes. You will receive an ebook I created titled “5 Tips for Workplace Happiness, A Simple Easy Guide for Veterinarians” that is yours free as well!!!

Till next week…

A New Veterinary Oath to Guide You

Once upon a time I was about to be fired because the staff felt I was cold and uncaring. I felt so misunderstood. That I was cold and uncaring was so untrue that I felt betrayed by my co- workers.

The real story is that I went to work every day exhausted, depressed and overwhelmed. The continual parade of sick and dying animals, demanding owners, staff friction and the euthanasias was beating me down.

I was abusing food to punish myself for not being perfect. I was waking up at all hours of the night gripped in fear about recent cases and migraines were a common occurrence. I was resigned to be miserable the rest of my life, but dammit, I still went to work and saved lives.

I cared so much about my clients’ and patients’ lives that I was losing mine.

I cared so much that I had nothing more to give, I had given it all away.

As caregivers and healers we all have the tendency to continue giving even when we are empty.

Have you ever felt that you have nothing more to give and that there is no enjoyment in your career? Do you abuse food, alcohol, exercise to try and soothe the parts of you that are hurting?

Well, I decided that this work situation was the wake-up call. I could either ignore it and continue my self destructive ways at another job or I could use it as a challenge to try and become someone my co workers could trust and find a way to save myself at the same time.

I have realized that the problem was not just my job, it was the way I had been taught. I was trained as a scientist to use only my medical knowledge.

This whole other part of veterinary medicine-the need to deal with the emotional environment of a veterinary clinic- is untaught territory for us.

If you have ever felt like you are ill equipped to handle the emotional challenges you face every day you are not alone.

I took a look at the veterinary oath. Our current oath only mentions our medical, scientific knowledge as tools. It does not even mention that whole other part of being human-humanity-compassion, self-care, boundaries, empathy. What would change if we had an oath that required us to take care of ourselves as well as we do our animals?

We all find ways to deal with the stresses we encounter every day. I know that you probably have coping skills that usually work for you. But maybe you have still felt depleted and hopeless.

To combat those feelings of hopelessness and defeat, I started to learn how to listen to my higher self, the part of me that is my soul, my spirit, my emotions.

The really amazing thing to me, is that as I started to focus more on listening to my higher self I found that the challenges at work were dramatically lessened. I didn’t have to find ways to deal with my poor emotional state because I didn’t get into it in the first place.

That lead me to create a SELF-Care Veterinary Oath just for you. It is the Oath I wish I had taken at graduation and the one that I wish our curriculum and CE was centered around just as much as advances in medicine.

My purpose in writing the SELF-Care Oath is to give you something tangible that you can refer to when the challenges of our profession are draining you. Each statement in the oath can be used as an affirmation to lay the groundwork for achieving the life you have always dreamed could be yours. Print it and hang it in a prominent spot so that you will see it often.

The perspectives and tools that work for me can work for you as well. I will be having a continuing dialogue through my newsletter about the steps I took to recreate a life I love. So often we put everyone and everything else before ourselves and this has to change.

Has there ever been a time in your live where this was true? Have you given so much of yourself that you do not know who you are anymore and have no enjoyment in your career?

Let’s put humanity back in the veterinary clinic where it most definitely belongs. This Oath is the doorway to a whole new outlook on the profession and life.

Download the Veterinary SELF-Care Oath as my gift to you by signing up for the free weekly newsletter I have created to help you on your journey to a fulfilling career.

How Connecting to Your Divinity Can Create Magic

WAIT! Don’t stop reading if you are nervous about the word “divinity.” Please, give me a chance to explain. You still don’t have to agree with everything (or anything) I say, but I encourage you to read on.

Whew, ok, thank you for indulging me. So I have never been particularly religious. I was raised Catholic but I never really accepted the institution of religion. I always wondered why I needed the clergy and all the pomp and circumstance. I went through a very strong existential period in high school where I was very certain that we lived and we died and that was it. And then I lived the majority of my life without any significant religious or spiritual leanings. But deep down I have always felt there was something out there, something that I could see in the animals eyes and way of being that was bigger than me.

Now, I was also very into the sciences and wanted to be a veterinarian from the time I knew what that was. At that time, my understanding was you had to be either religious or scientific. There did not seem to be any middle ground or ability for the two ideas to co exist. You had to chose. Through my journey as a veterinarian, though, I have needed to find a framework to deal with all the big emotions we deal with and the fact that we take lives. Science did not help me with it. I was becoming more depressed and disengaged from the world. What worked for me was discovering the idea of spirituality.

The way I describe the difference is that religion is an institution with an unchanging, agreed-upon ideology. Spirituality affords me the autonomy to choose beliefs that work for me and allowed me to navigate the emotions and tasks of our job and find honor and comfort in them. One belief I have adopted is that that we are all connected. That there is a power greater than all of us that connects us and can be tapped into for wisdom and grace. You can call it Source, the Universe, God, divinity etc. The word divinity or God used to strike fear in me. I couldn’t even say the word God because I had such a negative experience around religion. I started calling that higher power the Universe. That was innocuous enough a word for me to use. I have slowly come to the point that I can say the word God without a shudder and I am happy for those that receive comfort from those words. For me, divinity does not mean God, it means the higher power, the greater wisdom that is out there.

I believe we are all part of this divine wisdom. I believe that we are all striving to connect to it as deeply as we can in this lifetime, as that allows us to deeply connect with others.

See if you can feel the divine in yourself. Feel the connection to mother nature, to animals, to other humans. You may not completely believe yet, but let it percolate a little. And consider that if you are divine, so are the animals and people you interact with daily. See them as divine. Extend to them the same things you ask for yourself-to be respected, supported, and given the right to make your own choices.

This idea, that we are all connected and all part of the same higher wisdom, has allowed me to release a lot of the stress and anger I used to feel at work. I used to get angry and upset with the decisions that clients made. I used to get very stressed trying to make sure the staff was doing their jobs correctly. And the toll of euthanasias was dragging me down.

As I started to explore the idea of being open to tapping into the wisdom of a higher power and seeing that power in others I was introduced to a tool that worked for me and I’ll share it with you.

First, pretend that you have special eye glasses. These glasses make the higher wisdom, the divinity in other people visible. For me, the glasses showed me the Universe wisdom in others as a sparkly aura around them. It could be different for you. I would mentally put the glasses on when I was having a difficulty with a person-maybe a client not hearing my recommendations, maybe a co-worker getting on my last nerve, maybe a pet being difficult as well. By doing this and imagining the aura showing up I was reminding myself of how I would want to be treated in this situation. It allowed me to then take a breath, find a new perspective and be content with the situation and how it resolved. The glasses were instrumental in changing how I interacted with people.

So I encourage you to design your Source or divinity finding glasses and use them especially when you find yourself getting frustrated or angry at someone. If not for their sake, then for yours.

If we can give to others those experiences we want for ourselves, our days go much smoother. Grant others the support, love and understanding that you are seeking for yourself. It doesn’t make you weak. Seeing others in a divine light doesn’t make them infallible either. It simply allows you to breathe, stay focused on your goals and make decisions based out of love not fear. You can be an effective doctor, tech or manager and still see the divine in others. It doesn’t change what happens, it changes how you deal with it.

Let me know what you think of these ideas. Are you more scientific minded or religious/spiritual minded and how does it help you move through the day? I want to know. You can reach me at pamela@healhthyselfdvm.com

Adopt a New Belief in 2018 to Move Forward

Ok! So it somehow became 2018!! Time for some new thoughts and beliefs to mold our lives around.

What is a belief that you would like to let go of?
What belief is holding you back, making you feel mad, angry or frustrated, making you feel less than you know you are?
Are you ready to let it go?

2018 is a year to take your power back and feel how you want to feel.

I believe:

Our thoughts create our emotions.
We are in charge of our thoughts.
Therefore, we are in charge of our emotions.

So what thought is creating yucky feelings for you. Let’s take an example. Perhaps you believe you are unappreciated at work. What emotion does that cause in you? Sadness? Anger? Frustration? Take a moment and think the thought “I am unappreciated at work.” What sensations does that create in your body? Where are those sensations located? Don’t try and change anything, just notice it.

Now, can you say for 100% certain that you are unappreciated at work? Perhaps no one says thank you but they think it. Perhaps if we asked your co workers they would say that they really do appreciate all you do at work to make the day go smoothly.

So, can you agree that you cannot be 100% sure you are not appreciated? Even if you still believe you are unappreciated at work, are you ready to change that belief and feel better?

Let’s create an affirmation about this.

“I am appreciated at work. I am an important part of the business and I know I do my best every day.”

Let’s also think back to a time where you know you were appreciated. Maybe someone said a heartfelt thank you for something you did. Maybe someone gave you a high five or a hug for something you did. Think about that time and notice what emotion you feel. Is it happiness, worthiness, joy? Where in your body do you feel it?

Take that memory and the feeling of your body and use it when you say your affirmation. You do know what being appreciated feels like so create it in your body daily, multiple times.

We know that for any belief you can find evidence in your life to support it. So when you feel unappreciated you can find times when no one thanked you, maybe times they even gave your grief. BUT, I suggest that you can also find at least 1 time when someone said thank you. And if not, that’s OK. You have experienced appreciation at some point in your life and you can draw on that. As you go through the next few days and weeks using these tools I believe that you will find evidence that people do appreciate you at work right now, or at the very least, in other areas of your life. That’s the magic of this work.

So I want you to be conscious of what thoughts you think, what emotions they create and if those emotions are serving you or not. If not, what thought might feel better and create an affirmation, a visualization, a memory of what it felt like and use it to create a new belief that becomes part of you.

A belief is just a thought that has been thought so much that it becomes truth.

Take your power back. You are in charge of your thoughts. Your thoughts create your emotions. You are in charge of your emotions. It takes some awareness and some discipline but I know you got this!!

If this resonated with you or you would like to explore the process more, please sign up for a free phone conversation about something that you would like to change in your life.

You can pick your time at https://calendly.com/healthyselfdvm.

Why the Most Important Relationship is the One with Yourself

Starting my business, Heal ThySELF DVM, has been a journey for me for many years, all my life you could say. And the amazing thing is that every time I try something new – a webinar, a blog, a facebook presence, a weekend retreat, etc. – I get more and more clear about what motivates me and what my message is.

Why did I create this business? My why is that I want all of my colleagues to be happy, healthy and fulfilled. I want you to have fun as a veterinarian and enjoy your life outside of veterinary medicine to the fullest.

My message is that the most important relationship we have is the one with ourselves. When that is healthy and grounded we can achieve anything we want. When that relationship is filled with beliefs of doubt, unworthiness and a lack of self love, we will be adrift in the seas controlled by others.

We are only able to control and change ourselves. The way we orient ourselves to feeling better is by monitoring our thoughts. Our thoughts create our emotions and our emotional wellbeing is everything.

My invitation to you is to join me in creating a world where we are happy and fulfilled in our careers. I want each of my colleagues to be able to live the lives that you want.

Let’s start by realizing that what you tell yourself about yourself and the world is what you will live. The quiet whisperings, the outright rants, the thoughts that follow you home and keep you up at night are not true. They are lies. The reason you know they are lies is because they make you feel bad. You are a part of the divine, something bigger than this physical body you inhabit. Let’s start being aware that thoughts that make you feel bad are an indication that it is not true for you. I have tools and techniques that can bring this awareness to you and allow you to live the life that you wish.

Today, I encourage you to commit to noticing what you are telling yourself about yourself as you move through the day. Are you blaming and shaming yourself? Are you doubting yourself? Are you angry at yourself? Are you feeling stupid and unworthy? If so, then I am glad you are on this journey with me. Let’s repair the relationship you have with yourself first, and as we do that, your relationship with your clients and co-workers will improve as well.

I would love to talk with you and hear your dreams for your life. Let’s create the thoughts and emotions that will allow you to achieve your dreams. Pick a time convenient for you at https://calendly.com/healthyselfdvm and take the first step to the rest of your life.

How Can Roller Coasters Mirror Life?

I love riding roller coasters. I feel so alive on them and that feeling continues throughout the day. The thrill and anticipation of the uphills, the drama and unknown of the falls, the twists and turns that are unexpected. Kinda sounds a bit like life, eh?

My life coach, Jana Kellam, reminded me of this idea the other day and I wanted to share it with you. We all experience times when it seems that fantastic highs are followed by crushing lows. We get depressed and exhausted dealing with this roller coaster of life.

But what if we could embrace the lows as much as we do the highs? What if we saw the lows as a chance to get clear on what we are wanting more of in life (the highs) and sought out ways to get them. What if the lows signal a chance to explore new ways of thinking or acting to allow ourselves to return to a more neutral state? What if the lows are the only way we can appreciate the highs?

What if Roller Coasters never went down?

We have all heard that all we as veterinarians do all day is snuggle puppies and kittens? We generally respond “wouldn’t that be nice?” But would it? Wouldn’t doing that all day every day get boring? I submit to you that the only way to recognize and appreciate the happy things in life is to experience some less than happy things. It is the contrast in life that is exhilarating and allows for our growth.

If we embrace the lows as a way to grow and learn about ourselves we can level them out a bit or stay in them for less time, but experiencing them is always going to happen.

So experience life like the roller coaster it is and allow yourself to look for the hidden gems in the lows as well as milk the highs for every last drop of deliciousness!

How to Diffuse Your Anger by Doing the Best You Can

I see a lot of my colleagues dealing with anger issues – anger at themselves, the clients, the staff, the world. But is anger the real issue or is there a deeper, even yuckier feeling emotion that anger is covering for?

First, a little background discussion about emotions. We have typically labeled emotions as good or bad, but I believe all emotions are good. They point us in the directions we want to go. When we feel sad it is an invitation to find thoughts that feel better to move toward contentment, or hopefulness, for example.

Anger is an emotion that feels better than hopelessness or sadness. Anger has movement to it — we are often physically agitated, we use our breath and voices more, our hearts beat faster — all forms of movement. Movement usually feels better than stasis – hopelessness or overwhelm; where you want to be still and curled up in a ball.

The question to ask yourself is: WHY am I angry? And the answer cannot be based on someone else’s actions or words. What the person did or said is not important, the important thing is how it made you feel and WHY. Let’s look at a possible scenario:

Client comes in with a sick dog. Not life threatening but definitely in need of medical assistance. You make recommendations. Client declines all, just wants a shot of antibiotic for the dog. You get increasingly angry at their refusal to do anything else.

Why are you angry? What is the underlying belief that you have that is causing you to get angry?

Are you angry because in declining, they imply you don’t have the right answers? You believe you are an imposter or a liar.

Are you angry because you believe that their declining of your recommendations shows that you lack the ability to communicate effectively? You are a failure.

Are you angry because you feel the animal is helpless and you are their only hope? You are helpless.

We can see from these possibilities that anger is often the outward expression of denying other lower emotions or beliefs – helplessness, failure, incompetence, sadness, frustration.

If you can name the underlying reason why you are angry, then it is possible to play with it and diffuse it by changing your thoughts. This can be done in the safety of your home so that you can be a little more prepared the next time anger wells up inside of you.

There are many ways to let go of the underlying beliefs and we will explore them in the coming weeks.

Today I want you to play with the idea that you always do your best. That statement is simple, you say. Of course I always do my best! But how often do you beat yourself up for not knowing something, or having an animal die unexpectedly, or believing you missed something on an exam? We do it all the time. But if we truly believe that we always do our best, then there is no reason for beating ourselves up.

That negative self talk has no place in our brain. You always do your best. Yes, you cannot know everything. Yes, mother nature sometimes has her own plans. Yes, you may have missed something on an exam, but it doesn’t mean you didn’t do your best. It means you are human. And it means there is always more to learn. That’s it. In every situation there is always more to learn-even when the outcomes are terrific and defy the odds-there is something to learn.

And, let’s flip that statement around to the staff, the clients, the public. Everyone always does their best! The place that understanding and compassion comes from is realizing that their best is not necessarily in line with what you would do. And that is ok. It is their best. There is no reflection whatsoever on you. You did your best – examining, diagnosing, creating the treatment plan, doing the surgery, etc. There is no reflection on you no matter what they chose to do and no matter the outcome. If you believe that you did your best then there can be no judgments and no negative self talk.

So, one way to diffuse the anger is to adopt the belief that you always do your best. I give you permission to say this! Give yourself permission as well. The outcome is not in your hands. There is nothing else that can be asked of you but to do your best. Learn, grow, explore yes, but no beating up on yourself.

You are a rockstar bad ass veterinarian and you always do your best.

There are Two Sides to Every Coin

There are 2 sides to every coin. There are at least 2 sides to every story.

What I want to share with you today is an idea, that might raise some resistance in you at first, but just sit with it and see if it makes sense in the long run.

My goal in my day is to always look for the thoughts that allow me to feel better. In all the situations I deal with in a day, I try and find a way of looking at them that allows me to transcend the yucky, depleting emotions. I try and find a perspective that allows me to stay grounded and centered, feeling good. So here is a thought for this week for you to play with:

Your perspective is not the only one.

There, that’s the ground shattering truth.

Your perspective is not the only one.

What if that client that is declining the blood work truly does love her dog?
What if she has no money to spare?
What if she wants to do more, but is afraid you will find a cancer and she is battling it herself and cannot bear to think her dog has it as well?
What if she just buried her husband a year ago and is unable to face the fact that she may have to bury her dog as well?
What if she is in debt by tens of thousands of dollars and is embarrassed that she will be declined by Care Credit?
What if she is being abused by her daughter and feels helpless to make any decisions?

What if, what if, what if…

What if you decide she is just being stupid, uncaring or mean to the pet? What if you shower her, even unconsciously, with your feelings of anger and judgement? How would that feel to her? Might she respond with words of anger and accusations? Might she cause a scene in your lobby out of frustration and fear for her dog?

Could all of that energy that is being focused by you on her unwillingness to do the blood work be used in a better way? Perhaps to silently send her love and understanding, not knowing why she won’t do the blood work but respecting her rights. Perhaps ask her gently and softly why, and then give her the time and space to get the courage to tell you. How about energetically allowing her the dignity to make her decision and not feel judged or demeaned for it.

We have so much power in our hands. We are the Doctor! (shout out to Dr Who fans!) We are the authority, but we cannot possibly know why people make the decisions they make.

Your perspective is not the only one. Everyone involved in that pet’s care has an opinion on what should be done and why. And often, those choices are steeped in our culture and our upbringing.

The next time you are faced with someone not agreeing to your treatment plan, or getting angry with you over a diagnosis, take a moment to consider that they are scared, really really scared of something they are not telling you. Allow them to make the decision that is right for them. Know that you can do your job perfectly and still have them decline your recommendations.

There are always 2 sides to the coin. Yours and theirs. Allow for the possibility that your perspective is not the only one. You are not responsible for their decisions. Your life will be better for practicing this belief.

Next week we’ll look at how to diffuse your anger and frustrations in this kind of situation.

Support for Veterinarians

I am a veterinarian, who — when faced with the challenges and burdens of our profession — found a way to stop feeling hopeless and instead see the beauty and peace in those challenges.

Our profession has forgotten how to center our humanity in the veterinary clinic.

Watch the video to see how you can re-ignite your love of veterinary medicine by reconnecting to your higher self!

http://www.healthyselfdvm.com/support-veterinarians/

How to Use Affirmations to Change Your Reality

Today let’s talk a little about affirmations. They are a simple, yet powerful tool to change your perspective about something and to adopt new beliefs about yourself or the world.

The key to affirmations is that they need to be stated in a positive way and they need to resonate or mean something to you.

So first-keep them positive-no negative words like not, don’t, won’t, never etc. Instead use words like always, am, and do.

So for example a poorly worded affirmation is:

I am not responsible for how others feel.

The reason this is a poorly worded one is the word not. Interestingly, your brain does not 🙂 recognize the word not, it hears “I am responsible for how others feel” which is absolutely untrue. And, another reason is that we always want to put positive thoughts into the world.

So a better way to frame the affirmation is:

I am at peace with knowing that I am only responsible for my emotions. Others are responsible for their own.

See the difference? Say the poorly worded one and the better one out loud and notice the difference in your body. Which makes you feel better?

Affirmations can be used in many ways, but one of the simplest is to repeat them out loud multiple times a day. And for more power, say them while looking at yourself in a mirror. So, SO transformative then. Saying them adds POWER. It makes believing them easier. Try it and see! You can create them yourself but I will give you a few to try on and see how they feel.

Affirmations:

I am at peace knowing that I am only responsible for MY emotions. Others are responsible for theirs.

I am a Rock Star Bad Ass Veterinarian!

I am beautiful inside and out.

I move through my day with ease and confidence.

I do my best every day and in every way.

Try writing your own affirmations. I’d love to hear what you create and how they transform your life at pamela@healthyselfdvm.com