Blog – Page 3 – Heal ThySELF DVM

Captain to the Bridge!

Oh, be still my beating heart!

Ok, I admit it. I am a Star Trek geek. Captain James T Kirk (yes, I know the T stands for Tiberius) was my first crush. I want a tribble. I want to taste Saurian brandy and I want Scottie to beam me up (notice the present tense!).

Looking back on it we know that there are some things wrong with that 60’s TV show, but it did have some good ideas. And one of them is that the Captain is always in charge of where the ship goes and YOU, my friends, are the Captain of Your Ship!

I know I have been adrift in life at times. Frustrated, depressed and angry at how my life was going. I was able to point out easily what others’ needed to do to make me happy and how the world was treating me unkindly. I could tell clients where they were wrong; I could see how staff could be better at work; I could get angry at loved ones for not doing things right.

Overcoming frustration, sadness and anger can be as easy, or difficult, as changing your mind. That’s right. You have to change your mind and then the magic happens. Suddenly you will wake up to loving words from your family, seemingly more efficient co-workers, and joy in every aspect of your life.

You are perfectly placed in this world at this time. You are uniquely designed for this life, the one you have right now, AND you are meant to be happy, successful and loved.

Clients don’t make you mad, YOU do. Loved ones don’t disappoint you, YOU disappoint yourself. Being angry at someone is like drinking poison and expecting another person to die.

You are the Captain of your ship! You are in control of the direction of your life. Take control of the helm by examining your thoughts and emotions. Point them in the right direction and you will be headed to your coveted destination. Allow them to continually dwell in negativity, blame and shame and you will not get what you deeply desire from life.

Clients do not change, but your energetic dance with them does once you are no longer unconsciously judgemental, defensive and angry.

Your co-workers do not change, but your relationship with them will, once you see them in their glory and competence.

Your loved ones feel your sadness and disconnection. We so often put up walls or leave everything at the office, that our loved ones get used to having ½ of us. Once you are able to bring the best part of you home at night…..well, that is a game changer.

You are in charge of your life – only you can create the life you want with all the things that make you happy and less of the things that frustrate you.

It can be easy, it just takes persistence and awareness. I love examining the thoughts that cause me frustration or anger and asking if they are really true or could I feel better by believing something else?

You have the ability to take any belief that causes you pain (they don’t love me, they don’t believe in me, I am an imposter, I am always going to be miserable, I am a doctor and this is the life I signed up for) and transform it into a more comfortable and eventually an uplifting thought.

I’ve been on the other side for much of my career until I learned how to turn it around. If you know that your life could be better, even if it seems great right now, reach out by email or set up a call. I want all of us to be living our best life, not just a good life.

Because I believe this so strongly, I am offering a free one-on-one phone call to get to know each other, and outline the strengths that you already have on your side and your goals. Then, if it feels good to us, you can sign up for a package of 8 weekly 60 minute calls that will guide you on creating the life that you want. You will learn to see the events in your life as stepping stones not barriers. You will see yourself as the strong, powerful, successful person that you are. I believe in you. I believe in your strength and your wisdom.

Live Long and Prosper!

The Wounded Healer

There are many ways to do this thing called a Veterinary Medicine career.

I had been the archetypal ‘Wounded Healer’ for many years.

As I look back, I am sure that it started with my experience shadowing a veterinarian in high school; where I learned that we eat on the run, work very long hours and get paid very little. I honestly do not remember much of Veterinary school as I was living in a rather tiny, well controlled box (of my creating), that did not allow for much connection with my fellow students. Senior year clinicals were a trial to be withstood, but absolutely no fun. I do remember several patients that made an impression on me. One was a Rottie pup with DCM that had a groundbreaking surgery performed on him, but who passed away just as he seemed to be healing; and a golden retriever who had a mass on her leg that “was” the leg. I remember the clinician’s skeptical look as I couldn’t give her the dimensions of the tumor, I could only say that the tumor was her leg.

My first year of work was a real disaster that set me up for the next 15 years of suffering. I knew that this clinic was not the right one for me, but I took the job to be close to my mother who was undergoing treatments for breast cancer (she is still alive and doing well!). This first job taught me a lot of what “I will never do”, but it also scarred me and ruined my confidence. I left a few months before my contract was up, only to find another job that ended up beating me down in its own way. However, I did meet some incredible people there, did some amazing, successful surgeries (with the surgery book open next to me), and bought my first house! But I also experienced debilitating migraines, most likely because of my belief that I had to endure the hardships of the profession.

Jump forward to 2009 or so, and I stood in a different office, but with a huge choice to be made. By that time I was living the outward life of a successful, happy person, but inside I was miserable. I knew I was hanging on by my fingernails, desperately unhappy, exhausted and overwhelmed with the demands my profession was putting on me. I went to work every day because of the commitment I had to my patients, but I was absolutely beaten down. I didn’t have any skills to deal with the demands of the job or the emotional toll it can take. I was the Wounded Healer – existing to heal my patients, but not myself.

I decided that I wanted to be more than that. I wanted to identify as a Person, not just as a Veterinarian. As deeply as I felt called to sacrifice myself for my profession, deep down I knew it wasn’t who I really was. I was a person desiring and deserving of all the things people not in my profession had – time with family, vacations, hobbies, sleep and the ability to be more than a healer of animals – I could heal myself.

Once I admitted that I was miserable (even though I felt noble in that misery), I made different choices about what thoughts I held close to me and which ones I chose to let go. I held close the thought that I deserve to be adequately compensated with money and time-off, that I could have meaningful relationships in my life, that I could be a great veterinarian and a great romantic partner. The choice was clear but not easy.

Breaking out of the myth that is the ‘suffering veterinarian’ was not easy for me. We grow up with the stories of sacrifice and scarcity. The public puts demands on us that are unfair and unsustainable. Our colleagues inadvertently add to our misery by asking us to squeeze in just one more patient into our day (and I am guilty of that as well and am recommitting to being respectful of your schedule). But if you know that life could be better for you. If you want to be the best veterinary medical health care worker, AND the best YOU you can be… know that it IS possible. You have the knowledge and strength to create the life that you want. Play full out at work, but also be able to play full out at home!

If this sounds like a path you are ready to tread, please set up a call with me or send me an email so that together, we can learn to be happy, prosperous and fulfilled.

If only…

If only clients would stop complaining about prices…
If only clients would bring their animals in before it is a crisis…
If only clients wouldn’t ask me medical questions on social media…
If only clients wouldn’t leave mean and untrue reviews on social media…
If only co workers would stop being cliquish…
If only co workers would stop calling in sick…
If only management would staff us appropriately…

If all these things were to become true, I would be happy and successful as a veterinarian.

FALSE!

The truth is, as much as all of those above things should happen, they are not going to make me happy.

That is often our belief. That I need other people to do things and then I will be happy.

Happiness comes from within.

Even if all of those things were to happen I would still be miserable. How many times have you gotten exactly what you asked for and yet you were still unhappy?

That is why my outlook on how to create a fulfilling and sustainable veterinary career, focuses on my beliefs about the world and myself. I am only able to change myself. That’s why I focus on choosing happiness, and find techniques and skills that change my view of our world … so that I am happier. Storytelling, affirmations, intentions, visualizing, awareness of my thoughts and attached emotions are all the things that I practice. And I teach these techniques to help others create the fulfilling life that is available to all of us!

Now, while I absolutely believe that all the above listed stressors should be corrected, I strongly feel they are NOT responsible for my mental and emotional health. We are all able to use the power within us to create the life we want, one step at a time. You CAN shape how you think about events so that they don’t create turmoil in your life. You CAN write the narrative of your story that reflects the powerful person that you are. We all have that ability!

You can live in a world where all the statements mentioned are true, AND you can be fulfilled and successful. I have strong faith that all of us can navigate the stressors that come with this profession, or that we can make leaving the profession a positive choice, not one of defeat.

Because I believe in this practice so strongly, I am happy to offer you a FREE one-on-one phone call with me so we can get to know each other, and together we can outline the strengths that you already have on your side. If it feels good to continue, you can sign up for a package of (8) weekly, 60-minute calls that will guide you to create the life that you want.

You will learn to see the events in your life as stepping stones not barriers.
You will see yourself as the strong, powerful, successful person that you are.

You deserve to be happy. You are in control. I believe in you. Set up your call and let’s get started on creating the life that you know you deserve.

I look forward to seeing you fly!!!

Stories Are the Key to Feeling Better

This post was originally posted in October but the topic of the stories we tell has been on my mind lately. Every experience we have is a story waiting to be told and we are the authors. Be aware of the stories you tell yourself as if they are facts. Our lives are fiction and we can erase and rewrite the chapters anytime we want. Please read on and find the meaning of your day in the story you tell.

I don’t know about you, but this last week or so has been very trying. The social and political happenings are really pressing on me and I feel more reactive than normal. This is the unfortunate 3rd anniversary of my dad’s passing and the 4th anniversary of Dr Sophia Yin’s passing which brought the mental health of this profession into the forefront. So I’m feeling a little frazzled.

(And in December, the CDC came out with a study confirming the high risk of suicide in Veterinarians!)

I have found that acknowledging how I feel helps. Just saying that today sucked, that I want to scream (and then do it!), or that I am devastated by current events helps those feelings to subside a little which gives me breathing room.

Breathing room. Take the time to acknowledge your emotions and breathe through them.

Big emotions can feel scary and we tend to want to push them down and ignore them in the belief that they will go away or that looking at them will overwhelm us. But emotions are a useful tool for examining your thoughts and beliefs.

One way to turn a belief on its head is to realize that no experience has meaning until you assign it one.

For example: we all know that some people meet the personal diagnosis of cancer with acceptance and the belief that their life still has meaning and go on to achieve great things. Others can never move past the anger, hurt and fear of it. The diagnosis of cancer was the same, but the meaning assigned to it was different.

I use this tenant “no experience has meaning until you assign it one” often in my day. Feeling the big emotions of diagnosing acute renal failure or hemangiosarcoma can be overwhelming. I might get mad at a clients’ decision or lack of communication with me. But maybe there is a story to tell, a meaning to assign to the experience that will allow me to feel a little better about it.

I often ask myself “why am I reacting so strongly to this situation?” Strong emotional reactions mean that something about the situation is at odds with a deeply held belief, even an unconscious one, about yourself. In those situations ask yourself “If I was the client, what would my belief be to have made that decision?” Often times I find the answer is something along the lines of “I would be embarrassed (feel guilty, feel ashamed, feel I let them down).”

When you can ask why YOU are upset with it, having nothing to do with the other person, vast areas of growth can be achieved. Your emotions are the compass to how closely aligned you are to your higher self and when there is discord you feel strong emotions. Don’t get focused on the other person. Ask what the emotion is trying to lead you to and tell a different story about the situation. We all get mad at other peoples’ actions but asking what it would mean if you did that action is a chance to take back your power and heal a wound.

So I encourage you to feel your emotions and notice the accompanying stories. How can you reframe the thoughts so that they lead you to a better feeling place? Just for today, breathe through those big feelings and acknowledge them. Make the conscious choice to feel better and allow your brain and body to start moving you in that direction.

Try this idea on for size as you go through your day. Email me your questions or experiences with it, I’d love to hear from you. And if you want to chat in person, click here to sign up for a free 1 hr phone consultation. And please feel free to share this Newsletter with your colleagues!

It’s Not Always About You!

Taking things personally is so easy to do! We do it without even thinking of it!

When someone attacks us verbally, or makes comments about us to others, it is so easy to fall into the trap of taking it personally.

What does taking it personally mean? It means that we make the comment about us, we put meaning to it that satisfies our need to be right, our need to be safe and our need to defend ourselves (thank you monkey-mind). When we take something personally we are assuming that we know what the other person meant and wanted us to feel.

Taking things personally, making it about US, is a great way to create drama, emotion and stress where there may not need to be any. Let’s look at an example.

We hear someone say that “we are just in it for the money.” Right away our hackles go up and we are ready for a fight. But this only happens if we have taken it personally. If we have allowed their comment to affect our belief in ourselves or affect how we believe others think about us. If you can allow that first flush of anger wash over and through you and take a step back from it, you can see that the comment is a reflection of THAT person’s beliefs, not yours. Perhaps THAT person feels some sort of conflict about charging clients, their clients’ ability to afford them, their own finances and debt etc.

Or a client tells us that we don’t know what we are talking about, they found real info on Google. If we take that comment personally then we are insulted and angry which can spiral out of control as we re-play the comment in our head days and weeks later. But what if, when they say that, you can allow it to wash over you and not land inside? What if you can recognize that they are entitled to their belief about you, but it has nothing to do with you!

Not taking things personally also sometimes means that I have to let go of the need to be right and the need to be the right person for everyone. How often do you find yourself in a disagreement because you need to be right? What if both you and the other person can both be right? Wow! Mind blown! Both of you can be right, and still not agree with each other. This sort of realization is so liberating and allows for all kinds of expansion in your relationships at work and at home.

So I encourage all of you to practice taking a step back whenever you hear anything that flares your defensive emotional muscles. Take a breath. Ask yourself:

“Does what I just heard have anything to do with me?”
“What would I be like if I knew that others’ opinions do not matter to me?”

How would it feel to not react in anger the next time you are confronted? Not taking things personally keeps you from getting on an emotional merry-go-round that just keeps spinning.

It doesn’t mean that you are ignoring the situation. It simply means that you have moved past the monkey-mind induced negative emotions into the realm of self-care and finding solutions that allow you to feel better.

Please let me know how not taking things personally allows you to be more of the person you know you are. How does your day flow when things roll more easily off your back?

You can contact me via pamela@healthyselfdvm.com or set up a personal free 1-on-1 chat about this by visiting my scheduling site. And, as always, continue to be the wonderful, compassionate rock-star badasses that I know you are!

Drop Your Bags at the Door

When I was young, maybe 7 or 8, my mom used to take me clothes shopping for school. I remember going into the Colony Shop in the Altoona Mall and seeing all the beautiful dresses. I liked to walk around the displays with my eyes wide with all the colors, running my fingertips over the fabric and delighting in the ribbons and bows.

I loved looking at the dresses and imagining myself in them. How I would walk, and twirl and dance in them! It was so much fun. Then I would get to try the dresses on, and oh how big and special I would feel as I took that first look into the mirror. I would see myself in the perfect dress and feel like a princess. Everything was right with the world and then…

My Mom would look at me and say that it didn’t fit well enough and that we couldn’t purchase it. She would fuss at the shoulders of the dress usually and say how it didn’t fit in the shoulders right and I couldn’t have the dress. This perfect dress. The one with the pink tulip buds on it, the one that had the pink and green sash and bow. The one with the perfectly pleated and flared skirt. The one that my heart was set on.

My mom only wanted me to look my best. That was important to her. She wasn’t being mean or cheap – in her way she was looking out for me. Unfortunately, she didn’t know what lesson I took away from that dress experience that was then repeated many times over.

What I heard was “you are not good enough for this dress.” “Your shoulders are not the right size for this dress.” But I was in love with the dress. I wanted the dress. It looked divine on me. Why couldn’t we just buy the dress and make my dreams come true?

Then it happened. The lie I began to live by was started by a seemingly trivial experience of buying a dress. The lie I lived most of my life with began that day and was:

“Don’t want anything. The minute you desire something, you won’t get it and you’ll be disappointed and that hurts way too much. Just don’t want anything.”

That lie became a truth in my life. I can see evidence everywhere of how I made that belief come true over and over again. When our mind believes something it works very hard to create a reality that matches that belief. Over and over I would want something and see it disappear. It didn’t take long before, as a child, I stopped wanting things, I stopped dreaming of my future because I believed dreaming and wanting was the surest way of not getting it.

I tell you this story to illustrate the amazingly effective way our brains take events and create meaning and a code we live our life by.

What events jump out at you when you recall your childhood?
What story do you tell about yourself or the world based on that experience?
Are you willing to see the event as something different and rewrite your story and create a new way of moving through life?

My efforts are going to be placed on rewriting the belief that wanting something creates hurt.

What belief are you wanting to rewrite?

I know this isn’t directly related to veterinary medicine…or is it? We are humans and we come to work every day with our beliefs firmly entrenched, for good or for bad. We carry baggage into the office every day that affects how we experience our co-workers and clients. I, for one, want to lessen the baggage, so that I am more fully present and healthy to do my job. The less I carry into work, the less I carry home.

What are your beliefs about clients? Does death have to be devastating and sad? Are you good enough? Smart enough?

What baggage are you ready to drop?

What Keeps You Up at Night?

I woke up last night at 2 am.

This doesn’t usually happen to me. I sleep really well. But there are things going on in my life and lots of changes on the horizon. I’m stressed. When I woke up I was wide awake with my mind racing.

What if this….. What if that…….. When should I……

Money issues, relationship issues, holiday issues, work issues………..

I couldn’t stop my mind from racing. I felt physically worse as the minutes dragged by.

I snuggled closer to my partner to feel loved and comforted as I listened to his breathing and felt his warmth. Nope! It just infuriated me that he was sound asleep and probably enjoying a great dream. Instead of poking him to wake him up and be miserable with me, I went downstairs.

As I was walking down the hallway I gave myself permission to feel however I wanted to feel – scared, worried, frustrated. That stopped the internal comments for a few seconds. “Huh,” they said, “it’s not that much fun when she doesn’t play along and get all worked up.”

Then I decided to play hard ball with the internal reel and I pulled out a couple of mantras and decided to drown out the negative with the positive.

“I am worthy of everything I desire”

“Money is love and it flows abundantly to me”

“I make decisions easily and enjoy the process”

I almost chuckled as I coached myself out of a rabbit hole of negativity. The fears and doubts were silenced. I won’t say I was able to immediately go back to sleep, but I felt a whole lot more at ease as I snuggled back into bed next to my partner.

I share this so that you know exactly how these ideas I talk about can be used in real time, in real life. As I use them daily, I am able to change the direction of my thoughts pretty quickly at this point.

Tell me, what has kept you up at night?
What worries and fears are keeping you from living the life you deserve?

Set up a call or send me an email and we can investigate them together and get you back on track!

Slow Down, You’re Moving Too Fast…

Ah, a little Simon and Garfunkel to start the day…

Mindfulness. The practice of being in the moment, aware of and appreciating what you are doing in the moment, versus doing one thing while your mind races around other unrelated topics (and usually stirring up trouble!)

Slow down, you’re moving too fast, you’ve got to make the morning last, just kicking down the cobblestones, looking for fun and feelin’ groovy!

Wow, the image those lyrics bring to mind relaxes me immediately.

I realize that as life dumps stuff on me in a day or a week, my ability to be in the moment is oftentimes compromised as my mind replays conversations, problem analytics and worries over and over, accomplishing nothing except keeping me in an agitated state.

The dishes get done, the bed is made, the dog is walked, but all while my mind is going in circles about a million different things.

Slow down, you’re moving too fast….

Mindfulness.

The ability to be focused on the immediate task at hand. It is an age old practice of staying centered and calm and allowing your mind to be quiet. Gratefulness and appreciation for the immediate sensations of doing the dishes-the wonder of water, the amazement that water comes from the ocean right to your sink as you wash dishes that held the food that nourishes you that started out in a field somewhere tended by a stranger.

Connectedness. Appreciation. Gratitude.

Today while I contemplated what to write for you, my mind was jumping from topic to topic. I couldn’t decide. I followed some internet breadcrumbs and ended up at a site that had mindfulness gathas (short prayers). As I read them my mind felt immediately calmer and I felt myself physically relax. And, a blog post was born so that I could share this with you.

Take a look at these short prayers and see how they could be very useful to you as you move through the day.

Washing Dishes Going to Sleep
Each dish I wash Falling asleep at last
Is my most cherished child I vow with all beings
Each moment contains To enjoy the dark and the silence
Boundless love And rest in the vast unknown.

The mindfulness prayers:
https://www.beliefnet.com/faiths/buddhism/2004/02/gathas-for-mindfulness.aspx

And, listen to some Simon and Garfunkel today, you can never go wrong with them! https://youtu.be/So0ZrTwf8vI

LET’S CONNECT! If you would like to talk 1:1 with me, simply CLICK HERE to set up a free, 1 hr personal call. I can’t wait to hear from you!!!

Halt the Music…There’s a Problem!

As I went through my work day yesterday, I was struck by just how happy I was. The soft sounds of success were the soundtrack in my mind. I was appreciating my staff and how amazing and dedicated they are. I was struck by the clients love of their pets and their willingness to invest time and money into keeping their furry family healthy. I was feeling confident and communicating my thoughts well, and then…………SCREEEECH…………HALT THE MUSIC!

Mrs So-Nso wasn’t gonna hear my concern that her puppy was severely underweight. “She eats all the time!” she barked at me when I suggested increasing the calories. My shields flared into action surrounding me with a wall of protection against the energy she had thrown at me.

Now, a few years ago, I would have gotten angry at her outburst and unwillingness to hear me. I would have raised my voice, gotten a tone and mentally written her off as a “difficult client”. Isn’t that so easy for us to do sometimes? Has this ever happened to you?

We write people off and get angry at them for their choices. It’s the role of our ego to keep us safe and it does it’s job exceedingly well.

I kept repeating my message in different words trying to find the language she spoke. Every option I picked was met with resistance. Why wasn’t she hearing me? When we can keep our ego out of discussions they tend to go much better.

When you can see that your ego is flaring and trying to protect you it can feel like a wall has risen around you and the self talk in your head might get louder, all as protection against the perceived threat to your life.

Eventually, Mrs So-Nso’s sister picked up the puppy and was shocked by the inadequate weight. There it was, the answer to my prayer. The sister. The soft sounds of success started to play again!

When we know we are right but don’t have to prove it, when we afford the client the honor of knowing they are doing the best they can, when we can allow a higher power to work magic, then we can release all the human protective sequences that get triggered in a situation like this.

How do you react when your message is not being received? Do you get tense, louder, or hear that self-talk ramp up? Whatever it is that you feel, it can be changed.

We all have the power to react to situations in a way that keeps us safe and powerful, yet also affords the other person the same things. That is when the magic happens. Your belief that both parties are divine allows you to move beyond the human ego response and find solutions. And, if solutions cannot be found, you can leave the issue in the exam room and move on with a clear heart, knowing you did your best, and it is out of your hands.

So, my encouragement to you today is to stand in your power and your divinity and give the same to those that you interact with today. It’s a practice, but gets easier as you go along.

If you’d like to talk more about your power and the role ego plays in your life, send me an email or sign up to talk with me one-on-one here: https://calendly.com/healthyselfdvm. Tell me what is bothering you today.

Turn One of “Those Days” into Just Another Day

Have you ever had one of “those days” where it seemed that you cared more about something than anyone else?

One of those days where it seems you just can’t get your message across to someone?

I have had those conversations. For example: Talking with a client on the phone who has a pet that I think really needs to come in and be seen. I’ll go through all the reasons I think the pet should come in, all the while getting more and more frustrated about the situation. I can feel my blood pressure rising as I get tense in my body, my throat gets tight, I talk louder and punctuate my words and interrupt the client on the phone all because I desperately want to help that pet. Have you ever had a conversation like that?

Let’s say the pet doesn’t come in for whatever reason. I am left feeling angry at myself and the client and worried about the pet. I take that anger home with me that night and find myself replaying the conversation over and over and over again keeping myself in a state of anger and worry. I know a lot of us do this. It’s a very human thing to do but it really isn’t helping you deal with the emotions, it is just keeping you in it.

That cycle – replaying and reliving the emotions of a difficult conversation is what I have learned to break, and you can too.

One idea that I use, is to stop and notice when I have that loop going in my head about how mad I am that the client is not caring enough about their pet, and how worried I am about the pet.

I stop my thoughts in their track and replace them with the thought that the client is doing the best they can with where they are in life and their spiritual evolution and while it may not be up to my standards, it is the best they can do. Whew. When I remind myself of this belief that I have, it immediately lightens the load I need to carry.

I follow it up with a prayer for the client. “I release any responsibility I feel for the decision the client is making. I have done my best. I believe the client is doing their best and please help them continue to seek the attention that their pet needs.” Immediately I feel more calm and centered as I release the responsibility to a higher power.

I will also include the pet in the prayer. “Please take the pain and discomfort away from this pet and give them peace and healing.”

When I hear myself going back to the angry replay I stop, hit pause, and fast forward to my prayer.

How many times do we repeat scenarios in our heads keeping the negative emotions in our experience? This is a key factor in burn-out because it is draining. Not only are you drained by the initial experience, but you are drained by the repeated replays of it.

STOP yourself when you see yourself doing this. Replace it with the thought that you did the best you could and that is all you can ever do. You cannot make people do things, you can only educate and offer. The rest is up to them.

And so, as my responsibility to you to offer my knowledge, I am offering a free consultation with me about anything that is bothering you right now. Let’s troubleshoot the issue and let me help guide you to that knowledge that is already inside of you that has the answers. This is my mission, to help relieve the suffering of those in this field and create a stronger, healthier and happier community.

You can reach me via email or set up a time to chat here: https://calendly.com/healthyselfdvm