This post was originally posted in October but the topic of the stories we tell has been on my mind lately. Every experience we have is a story waiting to be told and we are the authors. Be aware of the stories you tell yourself as if they are facts. Our lives are fiction and we can erase and rewrite the chapters anytime we want. Please read on and find the meaning of your day in the story you tell.
I don’t know about you, but this last week or so has been very trying. The social and political happenings are really pressing on me and I feel more reactive than normal. This is the unfortunate 3rd anniversary of my dad’s passing and the 4th anniversary of Dr Sophia Yin’s passing which brought the mental health of this profession into the forefront. So I’m feeling a little frazzled.
(And in December, the CDC came out with a study confirming the high risk of suicide in Veterinarians!)
I have found that acknowledging how I feel helps. Just saying that today sucked, that I want to scream (and then do it!), or that I am devastated by current events helps those feelings to subside a little which gives me breathing room.
Breathing room. Take the time to acknowledge your emotions and breathe through them.
Big emotions can feel scary and we tend to want to push them down and ignore them in the belief that they will go away or that looking at them will overwhelm us. But emotions are a useful tool for examining your thoughts and beliefs.
One way to turn a belief on its head is to realize that no experience has meaning until you assign it one.
For example: we all know that some people meet the personal diagnosis of cancer with acceptance and the belief that their life still has meaning and go on to achieve great things. Others can never move past the anger, hurt and fear of it. The diagnosis of cancer was the same, but the meaning assigned to it was different.
I use this tenant “no experience has meaning until you assign it one” often in my day. Feeling the big emotions of diagnosing acute renal failure or hemangiosarcoma can be overwhelming. I might get mad at a clients’ decision or lack of communication with me. But maybe there is a story to tell, a meaning to assign to the experience that will allow me to feel a little better about it.
I often ask myself “why am I reacting so strongly to this situation?” Strong emotional reactions mean that something about the situation is at odds with a deeply held belief, even an unconscious one, about yourself. In those situations ask yourself “If I was the client, what would my belief be to have made that decision?” Often times I find the answer is something along the lines of “I would be embarrassed (feel guilty, feel ashamed, feel I let them down).”
When you can ask why YOU are upset with it, having nothing to do with the other person, vast areas of growth can be achieved. Your emotions are the compass to how closely aligned you are to your higher self and when there is discord you feel strong emotions. Don’t get focused on the other person. Ask what the emotion is trying to lead you to and tell a different story about the situation. We all get mad at other peoples’ actions but asking what it would mean if you did that action is a chance to take back your power and heal a wound.
So I encourage you to feel your emotions and notice the accompanying stories. How can you reframe the thoughts so that they lead you to a better feeling place? Just for today, breathe through those big feelings and acknowledge them. Make the conscious choice to feel better and allow your brain and body to start moving you in that direction.
Try this idea on for size as you go through your day. Email me your questions or experiences with it, I’d love to hear from you. And if you want to chat in person, click here to sign up for a free 1 hr phone consultation. And please feel free to share this Newsletter with your colleagues!