I know I have struggled with this idea as a major source of anger and depression in my career. I would get so angry when clients refused my treatment recommendations. I would struggle to find the words to convince them to do what I thought was the best option. I would relive conversations at night, looking for what words I could have said to change the outcome. I would review treatment plans of patients that died, trying to find a mistake. I would berate myself for not being enough. Enough to get the patient to live, and enough to get the client to agree to a treatment plan.

But here’s the thing. I cannot control what other people do! Yes, I can see you nodding your head in agreement with that statement, but then turning around and getting angry when they don’t do what you wanted! I know, because I have done that very thing, often. Often.

You cannot control what choices clients make. You cannot control the outcome of a discussion. You are not God. You cannot make them do what you think is best.

You cannot attach your happiness, self worth or inner peace to what decisions a client makes or you will be frustrated and unhappy, a lot. What you can do is base your self worth on knowing that you collected and presented the information the best you could, given whatever constraints the client gave to you.

You need to find peace with your ability to educate the clients, lay out their options and let them decide what they want to do. Pressing them only creates an uncomfortable energy that will end up with unhappy clients feeling shamed into a decision. Clients saying that you are “only in it for the money” as their push back to feeling pressured.

This idea of giving up the attachment to an outcome also plays a large part in accepting a patient’s death. We are not God, and cannot control the outcome. Patients will die unexpectedly. Patients will die despite our implementing the correct treatment plan. We need to accept that their death, a vast majority of the time, is not because of us.

Letting go of attachments to an outcome. A difficult lesson for me at times. But adopting it as a core belief has allowed me to move through my days with much less anger and self recriminations.

If this idea resonates with you let me know. How have you given up the attachment to outcomes? Let’s chat at pamela@healthyselfdvm.com.

AAHA has created the idea of Core Vaccines-those vaccines that are thought to be of utmost importance for the health and well being of our dogs and cats. So what if we used this idea of Core Beliefs for the health and well being of us, the veterinarian?

First off, what are Core Beliefs?

Core Beliefs are the central, innermost, or most essential beliefs you hold.

They are what is fundamental to your well being, your SELF.

What are the Core Beliefs and Perspectives that allow us to be happy and prosperous as veterinarians? What core beliefs do we need to nurture and strengthen to navigate the challenges of our career and take care of ourselves?

The #1 Core Belief is the belief that you must take care of yourSELF to be able to take care of others.

The SELF I am referring to is that divine, spiritual, connected to a higher power part of you. It is that part of you that is connected to everything else by love and compassion. It is your higher self, your inner being, your divinity. Connecting to it allows you a perspective not seen when you are only listening to your human self, your ego.

Taking care of your higher self allows for easier movement through the days maintaining your centeredness, gratefulness and love of the profession. The challenges to your groundedness are lessened. You can maintain your energy and personality and avoid compassion fatigue and burnout.

In fact, I would suggest that the more you nurture and strengthen this umbrella Core Belief-that you must take care of that part of you that is grounded in self love, over time you will encounter challenges that throw you off balance less often.

The more you strengthen yourSELF, the less often normal work scenarios will cause you to spin off into imposter syndrome, depression and compassion fatigue.

But here is the truly amazing part. You will encounter fewer irate clients, fewer drama episodes with staff, and fewer instances of feeling like an imposter. You will have more appointments that feel positive and rewarding, where you feel appreciated and respected. And, when you do find yourself in a challenging situation, you will be able to navigate it while staying centered. It truly can seem magical.

In the coming weeks we will explore other Core Beliefs that will allow you to honor and strengthen the connection to your higher wisdom. Taking care of yourSELF is truly the first belief that will set you up for a more rewarding and fulfilling career.