Empowering – Heal ThySELF DVM

Halt the Music…There’s a Problem!

As I went through my work day yesterday, I was struck by just how happy I was. The soft sounds of success were the soundtrack in my mind. I was appreciating my staff and how amazing and dedicated they are. I was struck by the clients love of their pets and their willingness to invest time and money into keeping their furry family healthy. I was feeling confident and communicating my thoughts well, and then…………SCREEEECH…………HALT THE MUSIC!

Mrs So-Nso wasn’t gonna hear my concern that her puppy was severely underweight. “She eats all the time!” she barked at me when I suggested increasing the calories. My shields flared into action surrounding me with a wall of protection against the energy she had thrown at me.

Now, a few years ago, I would have gotten angry at her outburst and unwillingness to hear me. I would have raised my voice, gotten a tone and mentally written her off as a “difficult client”. Isn’t that so easy for us to do sometimes? Has this ever happened to you?

We write people off and get angry at them for their choices. It’s the role of our ego to keep us safe and it does it’s job exceedingly well.

I kept repeating my message in different words trying to find the language she spoke. Every option I picked was met with resistance. Why wasn’t she hearing me? When we can keep our ego out of discussions they tend to go much better.

When you can see that your ego is flaring and trying to protect you it can feel like a wall has risen around you and the self talk in your head might get louder, all as protection against the perceived threat to your life.

Eventually, Mrs So-Nso’s sister picked up the puppy and was shocked by the inadequate weight. There it was, the answer to my prayer. The sister. The soft sounds of success started to play again!

When we know we are right but don’t have to prove it, when we afford the client the honor of knowing they are doing the best they can, when we can allow a higher power to work magic, then we can release all the human protective sequences that get triggered in a situation like this.

How do you react when your message is not being received? Do you get tense, louder, or hear that self-talk ramp up? Whatever it is that you feel, it can be changed.

We all have the power to react to situations in a way that keeps us safe and powerful, yet also affords the other person the same things. That is when the magic happens. Your belief that both parties are divine allows you to move beyond the human ego response and find solutions. And, if solutions cannot be found, you can leave the issue in the exam room and move on with a clear heart, knowing you did your best, and it is out of your hands.

So, my encouragement to you today is to stand in your power and your divinity and give the same to those that you interact with today. It’s a practice, but gets easier as you go along.

If you’d like to talk more about your power and the role ego plays in your life, send me an email or sign up to talk with me one-on-one here: https://calendly.com/healthyselfdvm. Tell me what is bothering you today.

Let’s Talk!

I started Heal ThySELF DVM because Dr. Sophia Yin, DVM committed suicide. I remember the day in 2014 when I heard of her suicide. My heart broke with this news. I sobbed uncontrollably. I wept often the next few days as I felt the magnitude of the loss to the world and her family.

On the call with my life coach that week I could not fully verbalize the depth of my grief. Through the sobs I could only choke out the words, “this is just not right and it has to stop.”

I never met Dr. Yin, so why did her death affect me so deeply? I only know that it caused me to profoundly recognize that we, in this profession we love so much, need help. Her death was the spark that set me on the path of Heal ThySELF DVM. I could no longer stand by silently and let others struggle.

***

I grew up knowing I would be a veterinarian. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I would achieve this goal. It was a forgone conclusion.

In high school I shadowed a woman veterinarian who had a mixed animal practice. I loved every single minute of that experience. I vividly remember helping her castrate a horse in the field. During that procedure I got some blood on my sneaker. I was in heaven! It was a rite of passage for me. I wore that sneaker with pride and unwashed for months!

When I graduated Vet school I thought I was a superhero. I knew there were still things to learn, but I felt strong and capable. But very quickly the doubts and the defeats started. I was soon haunted by a vision of a small, frail version of myself with heaps of dead dogs and cats piled around me. The bodies were accusing me of killing them unjustly or letting them die. Therein lay the conflict: my goal was to save every animal yet animals died by my hand.

I had multiple jobs between 1990 and 2005 due to family situations as well as dissatisfactory jobs. What I came to realize is that all the jobs were the same. All of them beat me down with client demands, long hours, poor pay, friction with the staff and witnessing too much suffering and death. I was depressed and disillusioned about my profession. But at some point I realized that I was the constant, the common denominator.

I changed jobs, but I didn’t change myself.

***

My healing journey began quietly when I met Jane Savoie, an Olympic equestrian and transformational speaker, and realized that I felt better while in her presence. Something deep inside of me recognized that she had an optimism that I desperately wanted. So I started creating my path to healing. I found people, books and animals who helped me remember things that I had once, as a child, known: How to find happiness daily and how amazing we all truly are.

One of the most powerful things I have ever heard is “You are not broken. You don’t need to be fixed. You haven’t done anything wrong.” This was a revelation to me and it still takes my breath away. I believe it to be true for all of us.

That was where I started. I started by taking those statements as truth.

I was not broken. I was just deciding I wanted something different.

I didn’t need to be fixed. Everything I had experienced so far in life was so that I could be the person I am today.

I have never done anything wrong. I have always made the best choices I could given who I was and what my options were at the time.

These beliefs and the powerful statement by Maya Angelou, “when you know better you do better” released me from self-flagellation over perceived mistakes. I believe that I am in charge of how I feel. I know that emotions are attached to thoughts and I control the thoughts. I have learned that I can be compassionate without losing myself. I have beliefs and techniques to relieve stress and stay connected to myself so that I can enjoy a fulfilling and prosperous career as a Veterinarian.

I know how important and possible it is to find that healing path for yourself as a Veterinarian. Through Heal ThySELF DVM, I enjoy helping other veterinarians explore their path in a safe and nurturing environment. That spark that I now have, and want to share with others, is eternal and ever growing. I will honor Dr. Yin by transmuting our common belief of inevitable sorrow into the belief of undeniable joy.

The suffering veterinarian will become a myth.

***

If you feel, as I once did, if you are hoping that your career could be prosperous and happy, please set up a time to chat (totally free, of course) with me personally by clicking here: calendly.com/healthyselfdvm

You can also reach out to me via email at pamela@healthyselfdvm.com

That time I stuck my foot in my mouth…

Today I am reposting a newsletter submission from a year ago because I was reminded of it as I saw this client again this week. Please enjoy it and know that, even a year later, this was still a very important lesson for me.

There is a book, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz that lays out four agreements you make with yourself that can transform your life.

One of the agreements is “Do not make assumptions.”

I had this tenet very clearly pointed out to me the other day in the exam room. I walked into the room to meet a new client. As I was entering the room, I commented on how much I loved their red sneakers. Then I looked at the chart and saw the name Britney. The person standing in front of me looked very masculine.

That’s when I totally dug myself the deepest hole I may ever have been in! Not able to just close my mouth, I blathered on about how Britney is not usually a male name, blah blah blah. I am sure my tech was ready to stomp on my foot or slink under the table. Britney took it very well and said that she is frequently mistaken for a male. I continued to be confused and finally literally had to close my mouth and start the exam before saying anything more.

As I was palpating the abdomen, which was very normal but I took extra time to do it, I replayed the conversation and realized that I had made an assumption based on how Britney looked that was completely wrong. Lucky for me she was very nice about it. But as soon as my pulse slowed down, I apologized to her for making an assumption that I had no right to make. I told her I was sorry and how gracious she was in handling it.

After I apologized I realized that I felt totally empowered! We went on to have a great discussion about her dog and we actually got along really well. The empowerment I felt by apologizing was amazing. I know, had I just ignored it, I would have been beating up on myself for days about how stupid I was and I would have feared meeting her again.

So my recommendation to you is two-fold:

Do not make assumptions. Listen and ask questions to understand the other person’s point of view.
Sincerely apologize when you are wrong. It gives you back your power, and allows for a natural interaction, without weird vibes, to occur.

If you have experienced the power of apologizing, if anything you read resonates with you, or if you have any questions about these ideas please CLICK HERE to set up a free, 1 hr personal call with me.

I’d love to hear from you!

Don’t be Blowin’ in the Wind, Believe in Yourself

This week was a rollercoaster of emotions for everyone at my office.

We had a blocked cat, with an owner that could not see how much we were trying to help. We had two separate clients, trying to help pets that were not their own, facing constraints both moral and tangible. We had people bringing us cookies and a very special bottle of alcohol to say “Thank you, I see you.” We felt understood at times and horribly denigrated at others.

We felt triumphant and defeated. We felt celebrated and we felt abused.

We all deal with weeks like this differently. What kept me balanced and centered was my knowledge of myself. I know I am caring, compassionate, knowledgeable and worthy. I have worked at creating those roots- those beliefs of myself that are a strong foundation so that my self worth is not affected by the actions or words of others.

Even the praise of others, though it definitely feels good, only feels good because I believe it inside first and foremost. Knowing who I am and what I stand for keeps me from being blown about like a leaf in the wind: debating my worth with every client encounter. And the debate can feel like anger, sadness, and physical discomfort. It doesn’t necessarily mean you are conscious of a “debate” in your mind.

What can you do today to strengthen your own self worth muscle?

When you know you are worthy of everything that you desire, and that you are strong, capable and compassionate then emotionally charged events do not knock you off balance easily or for long.

If you feel blown about like a leaf in the wind, not sure who you are inside or how to show it – It can be changed! You can determine your own self worth and navigate the emotions of a veterinary office with ease and grace. It just takes practice.

Let’s talk. Send me an email at pamela@healthyselfdvm.com or set up a one-on-one chat. Believing in yourself- your ability to love yourself, know your worth, know your emotions-is critical to staying centered and balanced in this profession.

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Sign up at http://www.healthyselfdvm.com/ and get weekly updates from me as well as advanced notice of special offers and 2 free gifts!

Are You Afraid to Say You Love Your Job?

I’ve realized over the past little while that I am almost embarrassed to say that I love my job as a veterinarian.

There is so much talk, and rightly so, about the mental health challenges in our profession that I feel… almost guilty for enjoying my job.

Do you feel like that at all?

I mean, I’m not at all downplaying or discounting the issues we face in this career, but I want to give myself, and YOU, permission to speak up if you love your job. Be a light for someone else to find their way to loving it again, as well.

I did a video about this topic in the latest episode of the Q 24 hr, Your Daily Dose of Vet Med Success.

Have a listen and let me know what it brings up for you at pamela@healthyselfdvm.com or schedule a one on one chat at https://calendly.com/healthyselfdvm .

Have a fantastic day, you awesomely amazing colleague!!!

Access Your Power to Create Your Reality

On today’s ‘Q 24 hr, Your Daily Dose of Vet Med Success’ I talk about different ways to frame the stressors we deal with everyday and create your reality. It’s so much fun and so rewarding to unlock your personal power!

Check it out and let me know your thoughts:
https://www.facebook.com/HealThySELFDVM/videos/601409293545330/

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And make sure you’ve signed up for the weekly newsletter at www.healthyselfdvm.com to receive great offers on my coaching services and other free gifts just for subscribers!

If you are ready to make a change in your life, make sure you sign up for the FREE 60 minute consultation with me here:
www.calendly.com/healthyselfdvm!

Colleagues who work with me find the keys within themselves to unlock their intuitive knowledge of what thoughts and beliefs to shift to gain the happiness they deserve both in and out of the office. It is truly amazing to witness the growth in their confidence in handling the situations that used to throw them off the tracks.

Make April 2018 the time you say “I deserve every happiness I can imagine at work and at home.”

Can’t wait to chat with you!

“How Can You Do This Every Day?”

This was the question a client asked me as she grieved over the body of her beloved pet who we had just euthanized.

In a flash I had some thoughts on how I CAN do this every day and I wanted to share them with you.

Take a look at the latest episode of Q 24 hr, Your Daily Dose of Vet Med Success to dive in.

Let me know if these thoughts help you to put our world into perspective and maybe even help you to feel empowered. You can reach me at pamela@healthyselfdvm.com .

Adopt a New Belief in 2018 to Move Forward

Ok! So it somehow became 2018!! Time for some new thoughts and beliefs to mold our lives around.

What is a belief that you would like to let go of?
What belief is holding you back, making you feel mad, angry or frustrated, making you feel less than you know you are?
Are you ready to let it go?

2018 is a year to take your power back and feel how you want to feel.

I believe:

Our thoughts create our emotions.
We are in charge of our thoughts.
Therefore, we are in charge of our emotions.

So what thought is creating yucky feelings for you. Let’s take an example. Perhaps you believe you are unappreciated at work. What emotion does that cause in you? Sadness? Anger? Frustration? Take a moment and think the thought “I am unappreciated at work.” What sensations does that create in your body? Where are those sensations located? Don’t try and change anything, just notice it.

Now, can you say for 100% certain that you are unappreciated at work? Perhaps no one says thank you but they think it. Perhaps if we asked your co workers they would say that they really do appreciate all you do at work to make the day go smoothly.

So, can you agree that you cannot be 100% sure you are not appreciated? Even if you still believe you are unappreciated at work, are you ready to change that belief and feel better?

Let’s create an affirmation about this.

“I am appreciated at work. I am an important part of the business and I know I do my best every day.”

Let’s also think back to a time where you know you were appreciated. Maybe someone said a heartfelt thank you for something you did. Maybe someone gave you a high five or a hug for something you did. Think about that time and notice what emotion you feel. Is it happiness, worthiness, joy? Where in your body do you feel it?

Take that memory and the feeling of your body and use it when you say your affirmation. You do know what being appreciated feels like so create it in your body daily, multiple times.

We know that for any belief you can find evidence in your life to support it. So when you feel unappreciated you can find times when no one thanked you, maybe times they even gave your grief. BUT, I suggest that you can also find at least 1 time when someone said thank you. And if not, that’s OK. You have experienced appreciation at some point in your life and you can draw on that. As you go through the next few days and weeks using these tools I believe that you will find evidence that people do appreciate you at work right now, or at the very least, in other areas of your life. That’s the magic of this work.

So I want you to be conscious of what thoughts you think, what emotions they create and if those emotions are serving you or not. If not, what thought might feel better and create an affirmation, a visualization, a memory of what it felt like and use it to create a new belief that becomes part of you.

A belief is just a thought that has been thought so much that it becomes truth.

Take your power back. You are in charge of your thoughts. Your thoughts create your emotions. You are in charge of your emotions. It takes some awareness and some discipline but I know you got this!!

If this resonated with you or you would like to explore the process more, please sign up for a free phone conversation about something that you would like to change in your life.

You can pick your time at https://calendly.com/healthyselfdvm.

Why the Most Important Relationship is the One with Yourself

Starting my business, Heal ThySELF DVM, has been a journey for me for many years, all my life you could say. And the amazing thing is that every time I try something new – a webinar, a blog, a facebook presence, a weekend retreat, etc. – I get more and more clear about what motivates me and what my message is.

Why did I create this business? My why is that I want all of my colleagues to be happy, healthy and fulfilled. I want you to have fun as a veterinarian and enjoy your life outside of veterinary medicine to the fullest.

My message is that the most important relationship we have is the one with ourselves. When that is healthy and grounded we can achieve anything we want. When that relationship is filled with beliefs of doubt, unworthiness and a lack of self love, we will be adrift in the seas controlled by others.

We are only able to control and change ourselves. The way we orient ourselves to feeling better is by monitoring our thoughts. Our thoughts create our emotions and our emotional wellbeing is everything.

My invitation to you is to join me in creating a world where we are happy and fulfilled in our careers. I want each of my colleagues to be able to live the lives that you want.

Let’s start by realizing that what you tell yourself about yourself and the world is what you will live. The quiet whisperings, the outright rants, the thoughts that follow you home and keep you up at night are not true. They are lies. The reason you know they are lies is because they make you feel bad. You are a part of the divine, something bigger than this physical body you inhabit. Let’s start being aware that thoughts that make you feel bad are an indication that it is not true for you. I have tools and techniques that can bring this awareness to you and allow you to live the life that you wish.

Today, I encourage you to commit to noticing what you are telling yourself about yourself as you move through the day. Are you blaming and shaming yourself? Are you doubting yourself? Are you angry at yourself? Are you feeling stupid and unworthy? If so, then I am glad you are on this journey with me. Let’s repair the relationship you have with yourself first, and as we do that, your relationship with your clients and co-workers will improve as well.

I would love to talk with you and hear your dreams for your life. Let’s create the thoughts and emotions that will allow you to achieve your dreams. Pick a time convenient for you at https://calendly.com/healthyselfdvm and take the first step to the rest of your life.

How to Use Affirmations to Change Your Reality

Today let’s talk a little about affirmations. They are a simple, yet powerful tool to change your perspective about something and to adopt new beliefs about yourself or the world.

The key to affirmations is that they need to be stated in a positive way and they need to resonate or mean something to you.

So first-keep them positive-no negative words like not, don’t, won’t, never etc. Instead use words like always, am, and do.

So for example a poorly worded affirmation is:

I am not responsible for how others feel.

The reason this is a poorly worded one is the word not. Interestingly, your brain does not 🙂 recognize the word not, it hears “I am responsible for how others feel” which is absolutely untrue. And, another reason is that we always want to put positive thoughts into the world.

So a better way to frame the affirmation is:

I am at peace with knowing that I am only responsible for my emotions. Others are responsible for their own.

See the difference? Say the poorly worded one and the better one out loud and notice the difference in your body. Which makes you feel better?

Affirmations can be used in many ways, but one of the simplest is to repeat them out loud multiple times a day. And for more power, say them while looking at yourself in a mirror. So, SO transformative then. Saying them adds POWER. It makes believing them easier. Try it and see! You can create them yourself but I will give you a few to try on and see how they feel.

Affirmations:

I am at peace knowing that I am only responsible for MY emotions. Others are responsible for theirs.

I am a Rock Star Bad Ass Veterinarian!

I am beautiful inside and out.

I move through my day with ease and confidence.

I do my best every day and in every way.

Try writing your own affirmations. I’d love to hear what you create and how they transform your life at pamela@healthyselfdvm.com