I have been doing weekly blogs or videos for about 3 yrs now. I have been through many life changes during that time, and have learned and grown a lot. 

I have written blogs at the last minute and I have had them ready to go weeks in advance. I have been disappointed when no one commented and I have been soothed, knowing that my words may have comforted or nudged someone into action, even without me knowing.

You see, this project was borne out of my desire to help my colleagues navigate the emotional toll of this profession.  It came at a time when there was no acknowledgement that there is a real issue with our profession and our mental health.  I wanted to change that.

I believe that my words helped, in a cosmic energetic way, to bring light to this subject.

I know that this blog has helped me heal, learn more about myself and truly ground my beliefs into an unshakable faith in myself.  

I hope this blog has helped you navigate your days, as well, whether in the profession or not.  We are all humans, and we deal with the same core issues – wanting to be happy, healthy and fulfilled.

For now, then, it is goodbye, but it is because other things are calling my attention.  It is a really exciting time for me and I see others stepping up to the plate to continue the discussion!  They may not use my words, but for now, my job of using my voice to make the profession and the world a better place is done in this venue.

I am not going away forever. I will still post when I have something to say, I will not stay silent if I know there is something worth saying.

Thank you for giving me your most valuable asset, your time, and reacting, sharing and commenting on my posts.  I am truly blessed to have had this opportunity.

To those who are in my inner circle on this adventure –Jana, Teri and Lena -thank you for your unwavering support and expertise.  I could not have created Heal ThySELF, DVM as easily as I did without you.

To everyone reading this I have one last request:  Please take the time to take care of yourself. We give so much to others that we must fiercely refill our cups so that we don’t run on empty.  Love yourself, love your family and friends and love your job. Love allows for sustainability.

Till next time, remember that even if you do not believe it today:
YOU are a rockstar and an amazing, unique individual who is needed and loved by many.

Namaste.

They exude confidence, joy and resilience. They are not telling themselves how cruel the world is, or how stupid they are or how much of a failure they are.  

Those sorts of statements are internalized by us as we grow as self protective mechanisms, but do they really protect us?  Or do they keep us from experiencing all the greatness that we can be and all the happiness we can experience?

Today’s message is short and sweet:
Speak lovingly to yourself, You are listening!

You will see yourself and the world the way you talk to yourself.  Our internal dialogue is a powerful tool in shaping who we are and how we present ourselves.

For today, check in on your internal monologue.  Just notice the kinds of things you say about yourself and your experiences.  After checking in, be playful or child-like in creating new tracks to play, instead of the old ones.  Interrupt the old track whenever you hear it and press play on the new track.  

We are our own harshest critics, let’s be nice to ourselves today.  Speak lovingly of yourself and notice the changes it creates!

During your morning workout, yoga or meditation?  Do you ever think about it during your work day?

Did you know that diaphragmatic breathing (abdominal breathing or deep breathing) is very beneficial in reducing stress, clearing the mind and nourishing our organs?  

Have you noticed that when we are stressed we breathe very shallow, which in itself can contribute to feeling stressed and nervous? This is because shallow breathing is a physiologic clue to your body to be in fight-or-flight mode. That is NOT the mode we want to live in!

I encourage you to incorporate deep breathing into your workday routine.  You do not need to assume a yoga position or be in a quiet place, just commit to focusing on your breath several times a day for a minute or so.

If you are new to this idea of diaphragmatic breathing there are many sources out there to help you! 

Here is a quick primer:
Sitting or standing, place a hand on your stomach and one on your chest.  As you breath in, allow your stomach area to expand and feel full, while your chest doesn’t move.  As you exhale, draw the stomach toward your spine and squeeze the air out. Repeat this as many times as it feels good to you.  Do it slowly so you can be aware of any thoughts or feelings that arise. Once you have practiced this breathing exercise for some time, you won’t need to place your hands on your body to remind you of where you should place the breath. This will allow you to be more discreet in doing this exercise, at work or in line at a store, etc.  

I do this in the break room or bathroom at work several times a day!  I will also do it if I feel the pressures of the day taking over. Even 3 deep breaths, while writing up a record, can help me reconnect with myself and decrease the fight-or-flight feeling.

Try it at work today, and let me know how it feels to you. I believe you will find that it releases stress and allows you to focus better!

The ability to allow others to have their own experiences that flow through you, without affecting you, IS YOUR STRENGTH.  Their need to be angry or grieve does not trigger you into joining them in those emotions.

When you have done the work and are sure that you are safe no matter what happens around you, it is your greatest gift to yourself, your clients and your family.  This is the stuff that allows your career to be sustainable and even energizing.

Let me know what you think about this idea that the knowledge that you are safe and the release of fear-based reactions, is your greatest tool.  It may be a new idea. It may be something you have been working on. I’d like to know.

Today I am sharing Dr Andy Roark’s#4EyesSaveLives Initiative, which is all about limiting access to the means to commit suicide by ourselves and our staffs.

Please take a minute to read his initiative at https://drandyroark.com, and institute changes in your office. Limiting access and disrupting the impulse to commit suicide are important steps to keep ourselves safe.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, text 741-741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor right away or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

The eating plan started with an evaluation of my current diet and health and then I started the cleanse.  I ate more good food during that 3 weeks than I have eaten in a long time!

But this experience brought up a question:
Why are we so focused on eating healthy, but we ingest toxic thoughts all day long without hesitation.  

We take in, repeat, relive and incorporate those toxic thoughts daily.  If they were food – grease, processed food, salt – we would say no, that’s not healthy for me, and make a better choice.

But toxic thoughts? Anger, resentment, fear, frustration – those we just happily ingest day after day and don’t think they have any effect on our health.

What if those thoughts are just as unhealthy as some foods? They can cause physical illness and pain, prevent us from connecting with loved ones, and chip away at our humanity.

I know I’m even more aware of those toxic thoughts creeping into my mind now, and more excited than ever to say NO to them.  How about you?

Just some food for thought today.

But you say…… “I’m fine.”

Why have we adopted this ‘correct’ answer to this question?  We are so scared of admitting to ourselves, let alone to others, that we would like some help and support.  We all need it, and usually daily, but we won’t even verbalize that we are anything other than fine.

One of the problems with everyone being ‘fine’ is that it reinforces the idea that I must be the only one that cannot handle things.  We assume that everyone else really does have it figured out, and we beat ourselves up for not being as perfect as they are.

It continues to reinforce the idea that there must be something wrong with me if I am not anything other than on top of my game. And it creates a stigma around mental health that can prevent us from seeking counseling or therapy to help ourselves.

But how do we change this?  I suggest that we need to be brave!  We need to stop, and before just answering “I’m fine.”, we need to take a second and recognize how we are feeling.  Then we need to tell someone. The answer to “How are you today?” can be rooted in gratefulness that someone asked.  Give them the benefit of the doubt that they really DO want to know and will help you if they can.

If the question was asked by a stranger at a store, etc., sometimes I find myself answering “It’s a rough day, but it got better because you asked me that.”  If I take 3 seconds to feel a connection with that person, it does make me feel better, and it is not dependent on that person at all. They often give me a quizzical look, and may not utter another word … but I feel better!  And hopefully, my answer has given them permission to rethink their answer to the question the next time they are asked it.

If that question is asked by someone I know, I will be as truthful as I can be.  Feeling safe discussing our emotions comes from within, and is a practice we can all cultivate.

Answering something like “I am sad today, but thank you for asking.” can feel liberating.  It may start a conversation that feels good or at the very least you were honest with yourself and that is liberating.

You see, when you answer is always “I’m fine.” you are lying to yourself.  That can become a habit which only stuffs your true emotions further and further down, which is JUST. NOT. HEALTHY.

Now, you do not need to give an hour long dissertation on all that is wrong in your life, but acknowledging that you are human gives freedom to others to do the same.

And, if you are asking the question, be open to hearing a different truthful answer.  Sometimes just holding your heart open to an honest answer allows the other person to feel safe saying something other than the expected answer.  You never know who needs that moment of kind connection.

So, if you don’t want to break the “I’m fine.” cycle for yourself, do it for someone else who needs to be reassured that they ‘are fine’ for having emotions, rough days, and a desire to be on a tropical island all by themselves!

So, my dear friends, how are you today?

Let me know in the comments or feel free to email me directly at Pamela@HealThyselfDVM.com .

These thoughts are coming up for me as I start a new job after 13 yrs at the previous hospital.  Yikes! I have noticed thoughts like ‘I don’t really know what I am doing! They all know more than me! No one will like me! My people skills are poor!’,etc.  On-and-on I hear those voices in my head.  Why? Because I am doing something new and my ego doesn’t like it!  It liked the old job where I felt comfortable and knew the staff, the clients, and how things worked.

Now?  Now I don’t even know where the bathroom is without asking!  This uncertainty sets off all my ego warning bells loudly. ‘Just go back to where you were comfy.’  The ego’s job is to keep me safe–safe from being eaten by a bear, as well as it’s 21st century job, of threats of any changes.

Did you know that the ego will jump in, even when you have a new thought about yourself?  So many of us stay in situations that are not right for us and we don’t change, because at least it’s “the devil we know”.  As soon as we even have a brief thought about changing our life somehow the ego goes into overdrive showing us all the things that could happen if we did that. ‘DANGER Will Robinson, Danger!!!!  Don’t think that way. We don’t know how to do that safely.  We don’t know who we will be if we think that way. We won’t know who we are if we go over there and do that. We’ll lose friends.’ So, all too often, sadly, we don’t change.  We don’t change because it seems so difficult.

But the really cool thing is, the more you can give your ego a voice and realize it is just scaring you with the unknowable future misery that might befall you at some point if you “did” this thing, then it can actually become quieter.  Tell your ego you hear it and appreciate it, but you ARE going to do this thing because it is something you want to try. Yes, you might fail, but you fail for sure if you don’t even try. (Affirmations, tapping and mirror work are some tools to quiet the self protective ego.)  

So these last few weeks I have had many opportunities to practice what I preach.  I left a really great job because the hour commute had finally become exhausting. I have found the next opportunity and I know it will be a great thing as well BUT my ego has been throwing her full force at me.  She has said everything from ‘You are an imposter!’ to ‘You won’t fit in there.’ and saving the best for last, ‘No one will like you.’  It is amazing how quickly she can fill in any quiet time in my mind with scary thoughts aimed at keeping me safe and at my old job.

Where do you hear your ego talking to you?  Is it at the job – trying to convince you of imposter syndrome or that everyone hates you?  Is it in your wanting to feel better? Does it tell you things like ‘You are the shy one. You will never be popular. No one will ever love you.’?

When we can recognize these types of thoughts as those of the self protective ego’s work, then we have insight into how to quiet them.  We cannot allow ourselves to believe the ego’s messages unless it is warning us about hot stoves, or dangerous social situations etc. But when it is talking about future events that might happen, or if it is talking about how you view yourself, most likely it is incorrect.  

You are powerful beyond words and you are incredibly able and intelligent. And anyone, or anything that tells you otherwise, is lying.  

So, learn to hear those thoughts from your ego, but tell yourself the real truth and latch onto that truth.  These are skills that will take you from miserable and frustrated to happy and successful.

Because I feel so strongly about these issues, I am still offering a FREE one-on-one consultation call to get to know each other and outline the strengths that you already have on your side and your goals.  Then, if it feels good to us, you can sign up for a package of (8) weekly 60-minute calls that will guide you on creating the life that you want.

You will learn to see the events in your life as stepping stones, not barriers. You will see yourself as the strong, powerful, successful person that you are.

I believe in you. I believe in your strength and your wisdom!