Mindset – Page 2 – Heal ThySELF DVM

How Can You Keep Anger from Derailing Your Day?

I feel the need to speak out about a FB video that was posted recently by a veterinarian who I will not name here. She was distraught about the price of veterinary care and the effect that cost has on our clients and patients.

While I agree that this is an important topic, I feel that her approach was hurtful and disrespectful of her colleagues. Everyone in the field of veterinary medicine does the very best they can every day, day in and day out, despite the pain and suffering we see every day. We are not in it for the money, that’s for sure!

I created this with the desire to help my colleagues who may have been hurt by the video.

Some things to think about as you watch the video are: What does anger feel like in your body? Can you respond to anger in a new way, and what would that look like to you? When you feel angry at someone, could you deal with it differently by acknowledging that there is an underlying cause of the anger?

You can watch the video and let me know how you answered any of the above questions by emailing me at pamela@healthyselfdvm.com or setting up a private 1 hr phone call by visiting my scheduling center.

And please, as always, let everyone see the unique, compassionate person you are!

What if your beliefs are actually holding you back from more joy and abundance?

So what if beliefs that you have about yourself, the world, your profession, your love life are actually holding yourself back? What if you could let go of a belief and see it allow space for a totally different, more enlightened, centered view to take hold?

Common beliefs that can hold us back involve having to be right, what kind of career we want and how we deserve to be treated. Check out this video by Prince Ea:

Then let me know what belief you are willing to let go of to let more joy and abundance into your life.

And if you would like to explore letting go of beliefs that do not serve you, please visit my online scheduling center and set up a one on one personal call with me.

Simple Tips to Stop Compartmentalizing Your Day

So often in my day I have to move from 1 appointment to the next with barely time to catch my breath.

I used to feel like I had to hide the stress or sadness of the previous appt from the next one. But I realized that as I did that, I was also stuffing down and ignoring my emotional needs and by the end of the day I was exhausted and depressed. I would go home and binge eat, or not eat at all, and yet never really let go of the emotional stresses of my day.

That is what leads to burnout and compassion fatigue.

What I have found is that spending just 30 seconds on dealing with the emotions I am feeling in the moment helps me feel better throughout the day.

Here are several ways I release tension and emotions throughout the day so they don’t build up and overwhelm me, especially if I am crazy busy or running late with appointments:

I will pause before opening the exam room door, take a couple deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. I feel the breath in bringing in peace and happiness, knowledge and confidence. I feel the breath out releasing any negative emotions I might be feeling-stress, anger, sadness.
I will tell the client of the next patient a 1 sentence explanation of why I might have run late, such as “I am sorry to keep you waiting, the last client had some difficult decisions to make and I could not rush them. I appreciate your understanding. Now, I see that Fluffy is very excited to be here today.” Telling them that I respect their time and that I am only human has been well received. Most clients respond with “when it is my pet, I know you will do the same for us.”
I “shake it off.” Literally, just like the Taylor Swift song says. I do a full body shiver, shake or jump around for 5-10 seconds. It releases tension, can be a source of laughter for my staff, and it allows me to feel brighter and lighter moving forward. If you can’t do a full body shake, try swinging your arms or bouncing on your toes.

Seeing new clients and pets every 15 minutes or so can be very draining if there is no effort to stay centered and balanced throughout the day. In the coming weeks, we will explore ways of releasing negative emotions by reframing your thoughts and honoring your feelings.

If you like what you just read, or if you have other ways of releasing negative emotions during your work day, I would love to hear from you. Please visit calendly.com/healthyselfdvm to schedule a free, 1 hour phone call with me to explore ways that work for you.

Have a fantastic day!!

Dealing with energy drainers…

I know that when I am feeling stuck and unable to move forward, I realize there are things in my house or office that need to be done that bother me every day as I look at them. Little things like clutter on the countertop, stuff on the stairs waiting to be carried up, a burned out light bulb in a lamp. Things that I could quickly and easily remedy, but I don’t.

I use them as evidence to myself that I am lazy, worthless, overworked, a poor time manager and an overall failure at life! Yep, that sums up my thoughts some days!

But what I have learned is that when I feel that way and look at those things, if I can resolve them I feel so much better and can turn around that negative self-talk.

So here is my challenge to you:

Pick 3-5 things that irritate (drain) you every day when you look at – or think about – them. Choose easy-to-remedy things for now like change that light bulb (not paint the house or clean the closet out).
Now, commit to resolving one thing on the list every day this week. Just one.
As you resolve the thing, give yourself credit for fixing it, tell yourself how much you love yourself for doing this and celebrate the hell out of your accomplishment every day!

These energy drainers are keeping you stuck. Changing the little things you don’t like about your surroundings will lead to your ability to create the bigger things you dream about.

Here is a TEDx talk that will give you more ways of jump-starting the removal of those energy drainers: https://youtu.be/Lp7E973zozc.

Watch it and let me know how your Energy-Drain-Unclogging goes! Click here to set up a free, 1 hr call with me to let me help celebrate your accomplishments!

Can you be grateful in stressful situations?

Gratitude. Feeling grateful for the experiences in our lives is a powerful way to feel happier and more empowered.

When you can extend the feeling of gratitude to the people and experiences in your life you will find that more and more good things come your way.

So I encourage you to keep a gratitude journal. Start small: just commit to doing it for 7 days. Each morning or evening, write down 5 things that you are grateful for. They can start with simple yet important things: you woke up!, your car started, you have clothes to wear, etc.

Be honest with yourself and start with what you can truly say you are grateful for having. I think you will feel better after the 7 days and I encourage you to keep the practice going or at least reach for it when you are feeling down.

As time goes on, see if you find gratitude in the challenges of the day. Such as gratitude that you were 5 minutes late leaving the house because then you got to avoid the accident, or see the heron in the creek, or the cute dog being walked by its owner.

Gratitude can also be extended to challenging client interactions. Be grateful that you do not have the life experience of the chronically bitchy client. Be grateful that the client with no money allowed you to flex your “No” muscle and not get drawn into their drama.

Being grateful for the good things in life is a great way to start, but finding ways to be grateful for the suckier things that happen is when the true magic occurs. So go out and be GREATFUL today!

If any of this resonated with you, if you have questions, or if you just want to discuss these ideas more, please click here to set up your free, 1 hr one on one call with me. I can’t wait to hear from you!

I challenge you…

Complaining. Argh.

It is so easy to go through the day complaining about all types of things-the weather (it’s always too hot or wet or cold), the clients, the computer system, the staff, the management.

But complaining, and getting others to join in with you, is a way of continuing to keep yourself tied down to negative thoughts and emotions.

For today, I challenge you to not complain about anything!

If you feel the need to complain, stop, take a breath, try to recognize why that situation invokes your need to complain and find a way to breath through it and let it go. Make a list of the things you really want to complain about and see if there is a common underlying thread. Maybe they are situations in which you are feeling powerless. Maybe they are situations that challenge beliefs about the world or yourself.

Sometimes finding the common thread helps you to be able to play with ways of changing your beliefs so those situations do not irritate you any longer. We will be discussing ways of changing those irritating situations/thoughts into better feeling ones as we move forward. The first step is noticing what you want to complain about and what is the underlying belief.

So for this week, try noticing what situations cause you to complain the most. When you have some quiet time, see if there are any common threads to the areas.

What sets off your complaining mood? I’d love to hear from you.

Click here to set up your free, 1 hour one on one call with me to discuss these ideas further.

Stop letting client decisions drain you.

You just don’t know…

Why someone makes the decisions they do. You just don’t know what is going on in their lives, what medical/relationship/financial/life stresses they are experiencing at the same time their pet is ill.

You just don’t know their deeply, yet perhaps unconsciously, held beliefs around illness and death for themselves and their pets.

So can you allow for the possibility that the decisions they make, including lack of treatment, has absolutely NOTHING to do with you, and everything to do with them?

There are no words to make them understand the need for treatment. There are no words to make them come in to see you the first day of the vomiting instead of the 5th. There are no words to make them get a physical exam at least once a year.

You have minimal power to make the client do things. BUT…. You do have infinite power to control how you feel when the client does something with which you disagree.

For today, thank each client (silently or out loud) for seeking your expertise and skill no matter the circumstances. Be grateful they came to see you. Even when you perceive they made a mistake, remember that you do not walk in their shoes and you have no idea what is going on in their life.

I think you will find that as you are able to allow them to have their experience in life, you can have yours. Your job is not to make someone do something. Your job is to advocate for the pet. Once you have done that, allow the client to make the decision they feel is best.

Do not attach your self-worth or happiness level to the decision the client is making. Attach your self worth and happiness level to knowing that you made the best recommendations possible and that is all you can do. You have the power — by focusing on how you want to feel — to have a good day in the face of crappy situations.

Be grateful that they sought you out, allow them to have their experience, and you get to have a good day by not feeling responsible for their decisions.

And as the carrot attached to this recommendation from me, I know that the less stressed you get by client decisions, the more you will see clients that take your recommendations and the less you will be presented with those that won’t. You attract what you think about and spend energy on so spend it wisely.

If this idea resonates with you, or if you have questions about it, please click here to sign up for a free 1 hour phone consultation where we can discuss it more.

What if grief and anger over euthanasias was easily avoided?

We are so often tasked with taking the lives of our patients. It can be depressing and overwhelming at times.

Recently I heard Dani Mcvety, DVM the CEO and founder of Lap of Love speak, and she put into words how I feel every time I perform a euthanasia. She tells clients that ask how she can do euthanasias day in and day out, that it is an honor to perform this task.

How much better would you feel if you could come to the place that it is an honor to perform a euthanasia? Not that you won’t be sad, and not that you would perform one that you did not agree with, but overall, how much stress would that mindset relieve?

To get to that point, one thing to consider is that no experience has meaning until you assign it one.

For example: we all know that some people meet the personal diagnosis of cancer with acceptance and the belief that their life still has meaning and go on to achieve great things. Others can never move past the anger, hurt and fear of it. The diagnosis of cancer was the same, but the meaning assigned to it was different.

The end result of the euthanasia is the same, but how you frame it allows you to move forward with serenity and calmness vs grief and anger.

I use this tenant “no experience has meaning until you assign it one” often in my day. When I diagnose a terminal disease in a patient, I am sad and upset for awhile. Realizing that I cannot change the diagnosis, but only try and make the best of it, I try and find a way in which this experience might be of value for me or the client. Such as: I get to learn about recent advancements in the treatment of this disease, I might meet new doctors that will become part of my “go-to referral team” in the future, I might have dealt with this personally with one of my own pets and so have a chance to heal that experience a bit, I get to allow the clients to find their way through the process with dignity, grace and as much serenity as they can. The client gets to heal previous experiences with terminally ill pets, or maybe even family.

It is all in how you can frame the experience.

Euthanasias do not have to be a sad, overwhelming stress on us. We can chose how we think about them and how we allow the clients to experience them. It is all in the meaning we assign to the experience.

Try this idea on for size as you go through your day. Email me your questions or experiences with it, I’d love to hear from you.