Self-Care – Page 2 – Heal ThySELF DVM

Everyone Can use the New SELF-Care Oath – Support Staff Included!

Last week I invited you to download and print my New Veterinary SELF-Care Oath. Click here if you did not get to it yet – it is still available to you!

Everyone in the profession including receptionists, technicians, assistants and management can benefit from this oath. It speaks to our SELF-Care-keeping that part of us that is spiritual, soul, and higher self aligned and healthy. No matter where you spend the majority of your time in the veterinary office, this oath is for you.

I created it because I was failing at veterinary medicine. I was overwhelmed and depressed and could not find joy in my job any longer. As a profession, we are very hard on ourselves. We work very long hours, we are perfectionists, and we see every pet as our own. Management has the daunting task of keeping everyone happy, being the “buck stops here” place and guiding the business into a healthy future. They may not directly heal a pet, but they sure are critical to that successful outcome.

So how can you use this oath?

First, print it out and use the statements as affirmations. Explore for yourself what areas you are weak in. Do you feel responsible for the outcome of a case? Are you able to allow the client’s to grieve in their way and not take on their turmoil? Are you able to know that you did the best you could every day, even when others are yelling at you or the outcome isn’t what you had hoped?

These are some of the areas that Heal ThySELF DVM addresses.

We cannot control what happens to us, we can only control how we deal with it.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, in a veterinary hospital can benefit from this Oath.

In the coming weeks, the program that fleshes out the action steps to take to achieve the ideals written in the oath will be rolled out!

Here is a sample of what we will be delving into in the coming weeks:

– What is a boundary and how do you create healthy ones?
– How can you empathize with clients or co-workers without being pulled into their turmoil?
– How does the “not my circus, not my monkeys” idea apply within a clinic setting?

I am SO excited for you to experience a new way of being at your job. I want you to feel as excited and optimistic as when you were just starting out. I know that applying the techniques of SELF-Care will allow you to fly and create the life that you have always wanted.

So, if you haven’t received your copy of the oath you can download it here.

And let me know what you think of the Oath. Is it helpful to you? How are you using it. Let me know at pamela@healthyselfdvm.com

Subscribe here to receive the weekly Heal ThySELF DVM Chart Notes. You will receive an ebook I created titled “5 Tips for Workplace Happiness, A Simple Easy Guide for Veterinarians” that is yours free as well!!!

Till next week…

A New Veterinary Oath to Guide You

Once upon a time I was about to be fired because the staff felt I was cold and uncaring. I felt so misunderstood. That I was cold and uncaring was so untrue that I felt betrayed by my co- workers.

The real story is that I went to work every day exhausted, depressed and overwhelmed. The continual parade of sick and dying animals, demanding owners, staff friction and the euthanasias was beating me down.

I was abusing food to punish myself for not being perfect. I was waking up at all hours of the night gripped in fear about recent cases and migraines were a common occurrence. I was resigned to be miserable the rest of my life, but dammit, I still went to work and saved lives.

I cared so much about my clients’ and patients’ lives that I was losing mine.

I cared so much that I had nothing more to give, I had given it all away.

As caregivers and healers we all have the tendency to continue giving even when we are empty.

Have you ever felt that you have nothing more to give and that there is no enjoyment in your career? Do you abuse food, alcohol, exercise to try and soothe the parts of you that are hurting?

Well, I decided that this work situation was the wake-up call. I could either ignore it and continue my self destructive ways at another job or I could use it as a challenge to try and become someone my co workers could trust and find a way to save myself at the same time.

I have realized that the problem was not just my job, it was the way I had been taught. I was trained as a scientist to use only my medical knowledge.

This whole other part of veterinary medicine-the need to deal with the emotional environment of a veterinary clinic- is untaught territory for us.

If you have ever felt like you are ill equipped to handle the emotional challenges you face every day you are not alone.

I took a look at the veterinary oath. Our current oath only mentions our medical, scientific knowledge as tools. It does not even mention that whole other part of being human-humanity-compassion, self-care, boundaries, empathy. What would change if we had an oath that required us to take care of ourselves as well as we do our animals?

We all find ways to deal with the stresses we encounter every day. I know that you probably have coping skills that usually work for you. But maybe you have still felt depleted and hopeless.

To combat those feelings of hopelessness and defeat, I started to learn how to listen to my higher self, the part of me that is my soul, my spirit, my emotions.

The really amazing thing to me, is that as I started to focus more on listening to my higher self I found that the challenges at work were dramatically lessened. I didn’t have to find ways to deal with my poor emotional state because I didn’t get into it in the first place.

That lead me to create a SELF-Care Veterinary Oath just for you. It is the Oath I wish I had taken at graduation and the one that I wish our curriculum and CE was centered around just as much as advances in medicine.

My purpose in writing the SELF-Care Oath is to give you something tangible that you can refer to when the challenges of our profession are draining you. Each statement in the oath can be used as an affirmation to lay the groundwork for achieving the life you have always dreamed could be yours. Print it and hang it in a prominent spot so that you will see it often.

The perspectives and tools that work for me can work for you as well. I will be having a continuing dialogue through my newsletter about the steps I took to recreate a life I love. So often we put everyone and everything else before ourselves and this has to change.

Has there ever been a time in your live where this was true? Have you given so much of yourself that you do not know who you are anymore and have no enjoyment in your career?

Let’s put humanity back in the veterinary clinic where it most definitely belongs. This Oath is the doorway to a whole new outlook on the profession and life.

Download the Veterinary SELF-Care Oath as my gift to you by signing up for the free weekly newsletter I have created to help you on your journey to a fulfilling career.

Why the Most Important Relationship is the One with Yourself

Starting my business, Heal ThySELF DVM, has been a journey for me for many years, all my life you could say. And the amazing thing is that every time I try something new – a webinar, a blog, a facebook presence, a weekend retreat, etc. – I get more and more clear about what motivates me and what my message is.

Why did I create this business? My why is that I want all of my colleagues to be happy, healthy and fulfilled. I want you to have fun as a veterinarian and enjoy your life outside of veterinary medicine to the fullest.

My message is that the most important relationship we have is the one with ourselves. When that is healthy and grounded we can achieve anything we want. When that relationship is filled with beliefs of doubt, unworthiness and a lack of self love, we will be adrift in the seas controlled by others.

We are only able to control and change ourselves. The way we orient ourselves to feeling better is by monitoring our thoughts. Our thoughts create our emotions and our emotional wellbeing is everything.

My invitation to you is to join me in creating a world where we are happy and fulfilled in our careers. I want each of my colleagues to be able to live the lives that you want.

Let’s start by realizing that what you tell yourself about yourself and the world is what you will live. The quiet whisperings, the outright rants, the thoughts that follow you home and keep you up at night are not true. They are lies. The reason you know they are lies is because they make you feel bad. You are a part of the divine, something bigger than this physical body you inhabit. Let’s start being aware that thoughts that make you feel bad are an indication that it is not true for you. I have tools and techniques that can bring this awareness to you and allow you to live the life that you wish.

Today, I encourage you to commit to noticing what you are telling yourself about yourself as you move through the day. Are you blaming and shaming yourself? Are you doubting yourself? Are you angry at yourself? Are you feeling stupid and unworthy? If so, then I am glad you are on this journey with me. Let’s repair the relationship you have with yourself first, and as we do that, your relationship with your clients and co-workers will improve as well.

I would love to talk with you and hear your dreams for your life. Let’s create the thoughts and emotions that will allow you to achieve your dreams. Pick a time convenient for you at https://calendly.com/healthyselfdvm and take the first step to the rest of your life.

Seasons Change and So Can We

It is definitely autumn now. I live in Pennsylvania and fall is definitely here. The mornings are cold, the afternoons warm, the leaves are falling and the air is fresh and light.

Chinese medicine asserts that balance of the five elements of nature-wood, fire, earth, metal and water-allows for better health. The balance of these five elements is the basis for traditional chinese medicine which includes herbal treatments and acupuncture. The elements all coincide with a season. Wood is spring, fire is summer, earth is late summer, metal is fall and water is winter.

If we apply a holistic approach to our health, which definitely includes our mental health, we can use the outline of the 5 elements for creating harmony in each season.

We are now in autumn, which in chinese medicine is represented by metal. Autumn is a time to harvest the crops and prepare for winter. It is a time to make sure everything is ready and strong for the coming winter, it is a time to clean out unwanted things.

Metal is associated with purity – think about ore being forged and refined into steel that is strong and unbreakable. Metal is associated with air as well – the changing of one thing into another, movement, adaptability, purification.

Metal is associated with the lung and large intestines, both are organs of transformation and purification. The lungs take in oxygen and expel carbon dioxide while the large intestine absorbs water, minerals and nutrients and expels the unwanted waste.

Autumn is a time of harvesting what has been sown and tendered, taking in all the necessary bounty and eliminating the unwanted, a time of change, a time of preparation.

There are traditional ways of eating in autumn based on the chinese agriculture such as more root vegetables, hearty foods, strong flavors like ginger and more water in the diet.

So today, I encourage you to immerse yourself in autumn with all of your senses. What does it feel like on your skin, what beautiful sights are there, what smells, what sounds, what foods do you appreciate in autumn?

Use this time to reflect on the harvest you have reaped this summer-what new projects were started, what family outings did you enjoy-and how can you glean strength and a deeper love for yourself and others because of what you experienced this summer.
Above all, take time to enjoy the new season and allow the ideas of harvesting the fruits of your labor create a new commitment to your health-physical, mental and spiritual.

How can Core Beliefs Shape Your World?

You have heard about core vaccines, but what about core beliefs?

AAHA has created the idea of Core Vaccines-those vaccines that are thought to be of utmost importance for the health and well being of our dogs and cats. So what if we used this idea of Core Beliefs for the health and well being of us, the veterinarian?

First off, what are Core Beliefs?

Core Beliefs are the central, innermost, or most essential beliefs you hold.

They are what is fundamental to your well being, your SELF.

What are the Core Beliefs and Perspectives that allow us to be happy and prosperous as veterinarians? What core beliefs do we need to nurture and strengthen to navigate the challenges of our career and take care of ourselves?

The #1 Core Belief is the belief that you must take care of yourSELF to be able to take care of others.

The SELF I am referring to is that divine, spiritual, connected to a higher power part of you. It is that part of you that is connected to everything else by love and compassion. It is your higher self, your inner being, your divinity. Connecting to it allows you a perspective not seen when you are only listening to your human self, your ego.

Taking care of your higher self allows for easier movement through the days maintaining your centeredness, gratefulness and love of the profession. The challenges to your groundedness are lessened. You can maintain your energy and personality and avoid compassion fatigue and burnout.

In fact, I would suggest that the more you nurture and strengthen this umbrella Core Belief-that you must take care of that part of you that is grounded in self love, over time you will encounter challenges that throw you off balance less often.

The more you strengthen yourSELF, the less often normal work scenarios will cause you to spin off into imposter syndrome, depression and compassion fatigue.

But here is the truly amazing part. You will encounter fewer irate clients, fewer drama episodes with staff, and fewer instances of feeling like an imposter. You will have more appointments that feel positive and rewarding, where you feel appreciated and respected. And, when you do find yourself in a challenging situation, you will be able to navigate it while staying centered. It truly can seem magical.

In the coming weeks we will explore other Core Beliefs that will allow you to honor and strengthen the connection to your higher wisdom. Taking care of yourSELF is truly the first belief that will set you up for a more rewarding and fulfilling career.

How Can Not Taking Things Personally Lift You Up?

Taking things personally is so easy to do! We do it without even thinking of it!

When someone attacks us verbally, or makes comments about us to others, it is so easy to fall into the trap of taking it personally.

What does taking it personally mean? It means that we make the comment about us, we put meaning to it that satisfies our need to be right, our need to be safe and our need to defend ourselves (thank you monkey mind). When we take something personally we are assuming that we know what the other person meant and wanted us to feel. But, can we ever know what someone else is truly thinking?

Taking things personally, making it about us, is a great way to create drama, emotion and stress where there may not need to be any. Let’s look at an example.

We hear someone say that “we are just in it for the money, we are gouging clients”. Right away our hackles go up and we are ready for a fight. But this only happens if we have taken it personally. If we have allowed their comment to affect our belief in ourselves or affect how we believe others think about us.

If you can allow that first flush of anger wash over you and through you and take a step back from it, you can see where maybe, the comment is a reflection of THAT person’s beliefs and practices, not yours. Perhaps THAT person feels some sort of conflict about charging clients, their clients’ ability to afford them, their own finances and debt etc.

Or a client tells us that we don’t know what we are talking about, they found real info on Google. If we take that comment personally then we are insulted, miffed, angry and that can spiral out of control over the days and weeks we keep replaying the comment in our head. But what if, when they say that, we can allow it to wash over us and not land inside us? What if we can recognize that they are entitled to their belief about me, but it has nothing to do with me!

I know myself, and I don’t need to take their opinion of me into consideration. I can then end the appt with allowing them to go on their way, find another Vet they can feel better about and I can move on. Not taking things personally also sometimes means that I have to let go of the need to be right and the need to be the right person for everyone.

So I encourage all of you to practice taking a step back whenever you hear anything that flares your defensive, emotional muscles. Take a breath. Ask yourself “ How could what I just heard have nothing to do with me?” “What would I be like if I knew that others’ opinions do not matter to me?”

How would it feel to not react in anger the next time you are confronted? Not taking things personally allows you to find a thought, a solution that makes sense to you instead of getting caught on an emotional merry go round that you cannot get off.

It doesn’t mean that you are ignoring the situation. It simply means that you have moved past the monkey mind induced negative emotions into the realm of self-care and finding solutions that allow you to feel better.

Please let me know how not taking things personally allows you to be more of the person you know you are. How does your day flow when things roll more easily off your back?

You can contact me via pamela@healthyselfdvm.com or set up a personal free 1 on 1 chat about this by visiting my scheduling site. And, as always, continue to be the wonderful, compassionate rock star badasses that I know you all are!