Veterinarians – Heal ThySELF DVM

Until Next Time…

Today is the last blog I will write for awhile.

I have been doing weekly blogs or videos for about 3 yrs now. I have been through many life changes during that time, and have learned and grown a lot.

I have written blogs at the last minute and I have had them ready to go weeks in advance. I have been disappointed when no one commented and I have been soothed, knowing that my words may have comforted or nudged someone into action, even without me knowing.

You see, this project was borne out of my desire to help my colleagues navigate the emotional toll of this profession. It came at a time when there was no acknowledgement that there is a real issue with our profession and our mental health. I wanted to change that.

I believe that my words helped, in a cosmic energetic way, to bring light to this subject.

I know that this blog has helped me heal, learn more about myself and truly ground my beliefs into an unshakable faith in myself.

I hope this blog has helped you navigate your days, as well, whether in the profession or not. We are all humans, and we deal with the same core issues – wanting to be happy, healthy and fulfilled.

For now, then, it is goodbye, but it is because other things are calling my attention. It is a really exciting time for me and I see others stepping up to the plate to continue the discussion! They may not use my words, but for now, my job of using my voice to make the profession and the world a better place is done in this venue.

I am not going away forever. I will still post when I have something to say, I will not stay silent if I know there is something worth saying.

Thank you for giving me your most valuable asset, your time, and reacting, sharing and commenting on my posts. I am truly blessed to have had this opportunity.

To those who are in my inner circle on this adventure –Jana, Teri and Lena -thank you for your unwavering support and expertise. I could not have created Heal ThySELF, DVM as easily as I did without you.

To everyone reading this I have one last request: Please take the time to take care of yourself. We give so much to others that we must fiercely refill our cups so that we don’t run on empty. Love yourself, love your family and friends and love your job. Love allows for sustainability.

Till next time, remember that even if you do not believe it today:
YOU are a rockstar and an amazing, unique individual who is needed and loved by many.

Namaste.

Are You Picking Up the Wrong Poop?

Picking up after our dogs is unconditional love, for sure!

Just a really quick reminder today:
We choose whether to pick up other people’s emotional poop!

Picking up and taking on other people’s emotional poop is NOT your job. Just leave it at your feet and walk on by!

Have a great day and choose wisely what you pick up and carry with you.

Count Your Blessings

This week, for me, has been all about seeing the blessings in my life.

I have been taking the time to notice things like:
~ the string of green lights I hit as I drive
~ the compliment I received
~ a text from a friend that makes me smile

These are gifts from the Universe to let me know I am loved and supported.

When I spend my day looking for the blessings, I can’t take time to be caught up in the drama or the frustrations of the day. When you notice the blessings, the momentum starts to swing that direction and it gets increasingly easier to stay in that place of gratitude.

When I was first introduced to this idea of seeing the little things that go my way, I was VERY skeptical on several levels. First, I didn’t believe anything went my way; and second, I felt really silly for believing this exercise could change my day.

But I have to say, I was WRONG on both counts! You experience countless little blessings every day, and by noticing them, your day can change from frustrating to smooth and flowing. It can feel contrived at first for sure, but after awhile it becomes second nature.

I like to think of the blessings as winks and nods from the Universe that I am loved and supported, even when I may be doubting that very idea.

Give it a try! Look for the small blessings in your day when you need a pick me up or when you are feeling stressed. There are countless ways you are supported in this life, and acknowledging the everyday blessings allows you to realign yourself with the amazing person you really are and the gifts that you bring to the table.

Speak Lovingly to Yourself, You are Listening

Have you ever watched a human baby learn to walk? How many times do they fall down, laugh and try again? How about as they learn to eat? They miss their mouth more often than not, but they relish in the mess they create! What fun they have!!

They exude confidence, joy and resilience. They are not telling themselves how cruel the world is, or how stupid they are or how much of a failure they are.

Those sorts of statements are internalized by us as we grow as self protective mechanisms, but do they really protect us? Or do they keep us from experiencing all the greatness that we can be and all the happiness we can experience?

Today’s message is short and sweet:
Speak lovingly to yourself, You are listening!

You will see yourself and the world the way you talk to yourself. Our internal dialogue is a powerful tool in shaping who we are and how we present ourselves.

For today, check in on your internal monologue. Just notice the kinds of things you say about yourself and your experiences. After checking in, be playful or child-like in creating new tracks to play, instead of the old ones. Interrupt the old track whenever you hear it and press play on the new track.

We are our own harshest critics, let’s be nice to ourselves today. Speak lovingly of yourself and notice the changes it creates!

High Quality Questions for the Win

Last week we talked about how to see life’s events as happening FOR you to grow, not TO you to beat you down.

This week, we can explore how asking yourself high quality questions can support that new outlook on life.

Many of us have learned to ask ourselves questions like:
Why is this happening to me?
-or-
Why do I always have to deal with angry clients?

Those questions are low quality questions, because there is NO answer that you can find that will lead you to feel better and be empowered. The typical answers to those questions usually involve statements about your stupidity, failure or incompetence.

But, if you can ask yourself a question that leads to curiosity, possibility and an improved self worth… Well, then the world opens up to you!

Some examples of high quality questions are:
– What can I learn from this situation that allows me to be a stronger person
– What boundaries do I want to set so that the client’s bad attitude does not affect me?
– How can this situation, as stressful as it may be, allow me to know I am valued?

So, in order to see life as happening FOR you, not TO you, use high quality questions to activate the curiosity of your mind, to find answers that lift you up and empower you to success!

Life Happens For You NOT To You!

I have heard this statement A LOT recently, and so I thought I’d share it with you, as I believe it is a powerful way to reframe our experiences.

When I googled ‘life happens for you, not to you’ to see who to attribute it to; names like Brene Brown, Tyler Perry, Jim Carrey and Tony Robbins appeared – which I consider a strong line up of successful people who are working to do ‘good’ in this world. So hey, why not think more like them…right?

The underlying theme to this statement, for me, is that I CANNOT control what happens to me, but I CAN control how I react to it.

The challenges that life throws at me – the angry clients; the 4th euthanasia of the day; the staff member who walks out in the middle of their shift – all of these challenges are there to help me grow and become a more emotionally enlightened person. One who is able to consciously move through life, instead of being blown about in the wind.

I want to respond to life, not react to life! How about you? I feel so powerful when I can consciously choose how I want to respond to events in my day. The alternative is letting my emotions react in ways that cause me to feel helpless, sad or angry.

If I can be curious and ask what does this situation do FOR me instead of TO me, I can see the blessings in the trial. How can I move through this event and be more powerful, more insightful, more loving?

How can I see the 4th euthanasia of the day as a gift – a way that life happens FOR me?:
Perhaps it is showing me the teamwork in the office.
-or-
The abundance of love in the world.
-or-
The strength of my ability to hold space for clients to grieve in their own way.
-or-
The honor of helping a patient cross over.

Perhaps it also highlights areas that I could reframe my thinking when I feel like life is happening TO me?
Like if I’m overwhelmed at the thought of losing my heart animal some day.
-or-
If I’m thinking, ‘Why is this always happening on my shift!”
-or-
If I feel pressured to make everything go perfectly.

We don’t need to brush aside all of the deep emotions we feel in a day. They are important reminders of how vast our emotional range is, and they can be used as beacons to point us in the direction of new beliefs that allow us to feel better.

So, my colleagues – it is ALWAYS our choice. We can see challenges as happening FOR us and continue to find peace and happiness in this profession, or we can see challenges as happening TO us, and struggle.

I encourage you to ask the question “Why could this be happening FOR my best interest?” the next time you face a challenge. That question, even if you only think about it for a moment, is the beginning of feeling powerful and in charge of your life. Dedication to asking that question daily will strengthen your ability to be a conscious creator of your life, and reap all the rewards available to you. I’d love to hear how you implement this idea in your own work life.

If you have questions about how to make this shift in your perspective from life happening TO you to life happening FOR you, please make an appointment by clicking here and select a time we can talk!

Pause and Breathe to Reset Your Day

How often in your day do you think about your breathing?

During your morning workout, yoga or meditation? Do you ever think about it during your work day?

Did you know that diaphragmatic breathing (abdominal breathing or deep breathing) is very beneficial in reducing stress, clearing the mind and nourishing our organs?

Have you noticed that when we are stressed we breathe very shallow, which in itself can contribute to feeling stressed and nervous? This is because shallow breathing is a physiologic clue to your body to be in fight-or-flight mode. That is NOT the mode we want to live in!

I encourage you to incorporate deep breathing into your workday routine. You do not need to assume a yoga position or be in a quiet place, just commit to focusing on your breath several times a day for a minute or so.

If you are new to this idea of diaphragmatic breathing there are many sources out there to help you!

Here is a quick primer:
Sitting or standing, place a hand on your stomach and one on your chest. As you breath in, allow your stomach area to expand and feel full, while your chest doesn’t move. As you exhale, draw the stomach toward your spine and squeeze the air out. Repeat this as many times as it feels good to you. Do it slowly so you can be aware of any thoughts or feelings that arise. Once you have practiced this breathing exercise for some time, you won’t need to place your hands on your body to remind you of where you should place the breath. This will allow you to be more discreet in doing this exercise, at work or in line at a store, etc.

I do this in the break room or bathroom at work several times a day! I will also do it if I feel the pressures of the day taking over. Even 3 deep breaths, while writing up a record, can help me reconnect with myself and decrease the fight-or-flight feeling.

Try it at work today, and let me know how it feels to you. I believe you will find that it releases stress and allows you to focus better!

What is the Strongest Tool in Your Toolbox?

I suggest that the strongest tool is NOT an EKG or blood work, but your sense of self and your strength through vulnerability. Your understanding of who you are, and the belief that you can handle any situation and come out whole.

The ability to allow others to have their own experiences that flow through you, without affecting you, IS YOUR STRENGTH. Their need to be angry or grieve does not trigger you into joining them in those emotions.

When you have done the work and are sure that you are safe no matter what happens around you, it is your greatest gift to yourself, your clients and your family. This is the stuff that allows your career to be sustainable and even energizing.

Let me know what you think about this idea that the knowledge that you are safe and the release of fear-based reactions, is your greatest tool. It may be a new idea. It may be something you have been working on. I’d like to know.

“We Don’t Need Self-Care, We Need Boundaries”

“We Don’t Need Self-Care, We Need Boundaries” is an article written by Pooja Lakshmin, MD in the October 2018 edition of Op-Med: Voices from the Doximity Network.

A theme I hear over and over again when talking with my colleagues is our lack of boundaries. We say yes to everything and everyone and yet are depleted emotionally and physically by it. I’m going to keep my say in this matter short this week so you have time to read and digest this article.

It hit home for me and reinforced what I have come to believe:
Self-care is not an indulgence! It is sometimes difficult work of learning how to say NO without the accompanying guilt and shame. Setting boundaries for better living is self-care at it’s best!

Please read the article (linked here) and let me know how this idea could be implemented in your life and how it would feel to have better boundaries?

Let’s Save Ourselves First

**TRIGGER WARNINGS**
Animal death, Death or Dying, Self-harm and Suicide, Eating disorders, Body hatred

It was spring of 2013. I had been a veterinarian for 23 yrs. I was tired, disillusioned and stuck. I was only doing the vet job because I was too lazy to try anything else.

I hated what my life had become:
Go to work, get beat up by emotional events, needy clients, endless death and dying.

Then I would go home, sit in the bathroom in the dark with the heater on and let the hum of the heater drown out my inner thoughts. Thoughts which made my eyes tear up and my heart race. Thoughts which made me feel useless and stupid. Thoughts like, “You are dying in this job! This job is killing you! You are stupid! You are a failure!”

As I moved to the bed to go to sleep, I’d grab a bag of cookies or Doritos and eat til it was empty. Then I’d close my eyes, feeling totally alone and overwhelmed, and cry. I would hold the exhalation between my sobs as long as I could–I didn’t want to inhale and face another breath–another round of self incriminations. I’d fall asleep in my clothes and in my tears.

I’d wake up and do it all again…

One particular week I remember having many euthanasias, and each one of them tore me apart. I wasn’t able to handle the grief and distress of the owners or the pain and suffering of the animal. I called into work one day and told the receptionist that I would not come in to work IF there was a euthanasia on the schedule. I had hit my wall. I could not do it again. NOT AGAIN!

The weight of the emotional toll this job took on me was crushing. I am not sure how I got over that week; I suspect mostly I just took the weekend to sleep and push all the emotions down, so that I could be ready for Monday.

I was ready for Monday, but I wasn’t healed. That took a much longer journey of self discovery and prioritizing my mental health. But what that week showed me is that the emotional toll this job can take, whether it is euthanasias, over filled schedules, long hours or being stressed about money, is REAL.

I understand the blogs and posts I read from my colleagues which implore clients to be nice to us and to thank us.

I understand the feelings of my colleagues who say they are the type of people to never say no to an animal in need.

I understand the desire to heal every animal that crosses our path and to beat ourselves up when we can’t.

BUT… I disagree that is has to be that way. I disagree that it is ‘just who we are.’ I believe each of us has the power to be healthy and happy in this profession.

What I found had to happen for me to survive this profession was to prioritize my mental health, and create a foundation of beliefs that allow me to shed the stress more easily and in healthy ways.

I believe I have choices in how I move through my day. When faced with something that creates anger or resentment, I have a choice. I can honor those feelings and find a resolution that allows me to feel better. For example: I can say “No, I cannot see another patient today.” OR I can ask myself why I feel anger over the situation and find a way to resolve that idea so that I can say yes with a clear heart and mind. Saying yes with underlying resentment or anger chips away at our mental health and our enjoyment of life.

I don’t believe we need to suffer as veterinarians and veterinary staff. I believe the answers to still doing all we do for pets lies in learning how to deal with our emotions in a timely and healthy manner. We can still save all the animals, but we must save ourselves first.

We each need to learn the emotional intelligence skills we SHOULD HAVE learned as children, but too often were told things like, “Get over it! Ignore it! Don’t be mad! Be nice to your sister!”, etc. with no acknowledgement that those feelings were real and based in a belief we had. IF we had been taught to examine our beliefs and behaviors like we were taught the times tables, we all would be better now.

What makes you mad at work? What beliefs create that anger for you? Do you say “yes” but feel resentful and angry? Do you say “yes“, even though you know you are on the edge and need to say “No!”?

Dealing with sickness, death, distraught clients, and scared patients can be a burden. But it can also be uplifting, life affirming and self-motivating. It depends on your outlook.

So I encourage you, my colleagues, to keep saving all the animals you feel called to, but please, do it in a healthy way so that we can all benefit from your magnificent, shining, unique rockstar self!

If you would like to talk with me more about this, or if you are having trouble navigating this profession in a balanced, healthy way, please reach out to me. I am offering a free one-on-one call to get to know each other a bit and illuminate the amazing person that you are and the skills that you want to learn. Then, if it feels good to us, you can sign up for a package of (8) weekly, 60 minute calls that will guide you on creating the life that you want.

You will learn to see that the beliefs that are causing you pain can be changed. You will see yourself as the strong, powerful, successful person that you are.

I believe in you. I believe in your strength and your wisdom.